Ethan

@0atmealShaq I think I’m shadowbanned. Everyone go like my tweets

Potatomaxxing

Waiting for my food at a takeout place, guy who just ordered goes, “do uh you guys have like water”. Jesus man.

I think it needs to be 100 degrees out for the women of New York City to take off their long wool coats

Had a bunch of late night McDonald’s last night and my pee was neon green this morning

@0atmealShaq @BonorMcM I find this whole situation very confusing and frustrating

@BonorMcM @Ebitar908 That guy doesn’t know anything

I just went to cava for the first time in a while. Can somebody please explain to me why they threw a random tort tilla in my bag? I didn’t ask for that

@0atmealShaq Eat dirt shaq

BRACKET IS COOKED.

Sweating and out of breath from changing sheets #chudlife

I think I’m shadowbanned

The way I see it I have two options this morning: go to Trader Joe’s or kill myself

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl drinking a Powerade in my life

S is sneaky late in alphabetical order

Yeah just going to the gym and then grocery shopping cuz my life fucking sucks

I know my tweets haven’t been great lately, but the death threats are a little unnecessary guys

Being a dude ain’t easy. I was wearing a plain white shirt and bro asked “nice shirt, where did you get it”? Brother was starvin!

I think my girlfriends cat wants to skin me alive

They r called cookies cuz you cook them

If crocodiles spun webs like spiders do to catch humans we would be so screwed

What are we but the value we provide

Man I haven’t tweeted in forever. #feelingrusty

Why does sneezing feel so good