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This is my formal announcement that I’m rebranding as a Claw Clip Girlie

who is the worst person that you know and why is it your ex from 2019

A fun thing I keep doing is finishing all but one out of a hard seltzer pack and then just leaving 3-4 different brands in my fridge that I’ll never drink

I still don’t like saying bad words on my big girl Twitter 🥺

Update: I'm 99% sure they got stolen off my porch 😢✌🏼

Sorry ladies but if your boyfriend doesn’t pretend to flirt with your mom then he’s not the one

Say a prayer that my white thigh high pleather boots come in tomorrow before my Halloween party plz + thx

My favorite thing about being an adult is Adult Money My least favorite thing about being an adult is that I have no self control

When the water bottle on the nightstand pops

99 bananas 😟

Someone has to say it so it might as well be me. I do not trust you if you put your leggings in the dryer

Whoever decided to spell “ma’am” like that did an absolutely terrible job

Executive dysfunction is the stupidest thing. Why am I procrastinating moving my clothes from the washer to the dryer?

After leaving the Church of Taylor Swift sometime in high school, I’m now a born again swiftie

@franchvanillla @mrlpvy AMEN!