Elizabeth Vargas

I restored twitter on my phone because I've got too many jokes and not enough friends.

@MovieFriendsPod * Baahubali 1 and immediately followed by 2 * O Brother, Where Art Thou? * Anything with Julia Roberts prior to 2001

You are at home with some friends and they ask you to play a movie. What are you putting on? #filmtwitter

@AlainaToTheMax I stalked Morbid and then you too hard. I’ve reached your first media post

@ohsethy WiFi only, what was the score? Please tell me.

@andsentences how did this not blow up att? It’s still so accurate

Let's just all agree #thisiselenya is why we are all still on Instagram

@JoHempstead Yes

Louisville Metro Police has officially fired Brett Hankison, one of the three officers involved in the fatal shooting of Breonna Taylor. He blindly fired 10 rounds into her apartment. It only took 102 days.

@Alex_Long381 The teaching platform was providing books, but they had included a racist book “Curls that Swirl” which was horrifying, so now it’s students choice! Are you teaching summer classes?

@Alex_Long381 ^^That was confusing. I’ll be teaching 6-8 science in the fall. Now I’m teaching 1st graders with Springboard (have you heard of this platform?) & I’m hoping to “keep” these kids the whole summer. I’m doing phonics lessons, then having them practice with their own books from home

@Alex_Long381 my sister just sent me your twitter and asked me to slide into your DMs because you’re a Christian single man. I am not technologically savvy enough to do that. So yo, what’s up? -25 -non-denominational - new teacher

My house has never been cleaner My legs never so closely shaved My budget and diet so healthy My plants never so happy My school so caught up Guess it’s time to give in and finally watch this “The Office” I’ve been hearing about for a few years.

There is no difference between Tik Tok and Vine. Which are just versions of YouTubing, Instagram or Facebook live stories. Why sooooooooo many methods to do the same stoopidddddd stuffff #oldwoman

@Lindsquee @thepaulbrom You are a gem of a human and others might feel small in comparison to your sincerity and joy - when people feel small they hurt others. Don’t take it personally, it’s not you. You are great! I hope these friends find peace & accept kindness in their lives so they can be kind too!

@thepaulbrom Thanks 🥰 It’s like I’m stuck in Mean Girls which is a shitty movie to be stuck in. I need Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to make a guest appearance to make it worth it.

Remember 2 years ago around this time, my friends had a secret group chat because they were planning a surprise party and this year my friends have a secret group chat to talk shit? Yeah feelin great rn ✌🏻

@michaelianblack follow-up. Please please read another book from the Jill Schwartz Memorial Library, in the wilds of Connecticut! Suggestion: The Jungle by Upton Sinclair Similar vibe similar time period. #thankyouforyourconsideration

@michaelianblack thank you for a wonderful year and a half. I can’t believe how somber it feels to have finished Jude the Obscure. This has been one constant during my Junior and Senior year and it I’m sad thinking it won’t carry me til graduation 😭😩 #ripjackjack #ripjude

I am so old my twitter handle is just my name - which means I still receive so many DMs for the famous Elizabeth Vargas that are supportive and lovely. If you are looking at my page I am not an ABC newswoman. I am just a 25 y/o who got on Twitter before famous people had to.

Just watched @JohnLeguizamo ‘s Latin History for Morons, and it made me ugly cry while drawing diagrams of mitotic activity. The other studying students did not like my ugly cry. #latinhistoryformorons go watch it on @NetifliNetiflix 😭😭😭

@mraganmower I literally had to block Lauren tomly 😂

Me having to tell women I’m poor to stop their onslaught of trying to sell me stuff (cookware, diet plans, oil) is the equivalent of having to tell men you have a boyfriend for them to leave you alone. Why doesn’t anyone understand no thank? Why do I need a reason???

@mraganmower I stand by my provocative statements

Milk should be in vending machines. #UnpopularOpinion

@mraganmower 🤣

In 2018 I had my (hopefully) last oral/facial surgery - while awake. My jaw was drilled into, and I heard and smelt and felt it all. Then the manually screwed bits into the exaposed bone. Only breaking to suction blood when it got to the point I was choking. 2019 seems doable.