Emily Gaetke

@lauratremaine Honestly. I am already judgemental about it.

We will look back on this crazy nails and heavy eyelash phase with contempt and judgment. And we will be right.

@Dianes_Willie @hello__caitlin The more you know

@EmilyRose_S @hello__caitlin Lox are a form of smoked salmon

I saw a TikTok this morning of a woman who didn’t know that lox and raw salmon are different, so she’s been slicing off pieces of raw grocery store salmon for a week now and eating it with bagels and cream cheese

It is always a sign of trouble when an adult tells a child not to tell their parents.

@abby4thepeople Was it my neighbors? The family across the street own some sort of construction business and the moms unofficial job is cooking for everyone at their work sites. They have offered before to make extra for me.

Yesterday, I asked the guys who are doing construction near my office where their burritos were from because they always smell *so* good. They told me that the foreman's mom makes them for them, which was disappointing until this morning when the foreman came running over to

@freedomsbride This is a HIPPA violation. Sue the hospital.

@jenni_gritters @EmilyLey - I feel like I know the real version of her and literally buy everything she makes because I feel like I am supporting a girlfriend

Twitter fam, tell me who has the absolute BEST personal brand! Someone who's authentic and bold, and truly themselves online.

On a call with my mom and a therapist yesterday my mom shared a funny anecdote of something I said as a small child and the therapist noted it showed a really high emotional intelligence. I have been riding that high ever since.

My husband texted that our toddler cried the entire way to school because she isn’t wearing a bow. She has specifically said “no bow” while getting dress.

@LisaVischer CC @gaetkoguy

Phil generally remains unfazed, calm and objective about most issues and problems large and small. But wrinkled sheets are his KRYPTONITE. Please don’t tell. Lex Luthor must not know. THE END

A VISCHER BEDTIME STORY Once upon a time there was a guy named Phil. Every night before bed Phil would check to see if the sheets are nice and SMOOTH. On most nights, this would only take a few swipes. But on this night...

Husband: It’s the new Star Wars series on Disney+ Me: It feels like it’s like real housewives with a new one every few months Husband: Except that it’s entirely different characters in a new place each time. Nevermind, it’s exactly like housewives. Me:

@clhubes My moms name is Aletha. Her brother and sister are David and Anne.

@BRamseyJr @JonAcuff I knew I liked you

@EmilyRose_S @JonAcuff My question to The Youth - "Why do you back into parking spots?" "Because it's faster" (This is just after they've take four attempts, rather than one, to park their car)

Just saw a guy at the airport wearing a shirt that said, "Stop standing up when the airplane lands." Huge block letters. You've got to admire the commitment to a minor annoyance. If you made a, "This is petty, but I don't like when people ______" shirt, what would it say?

@mattnightingale Adoptive mom here. People are the worst. I am sorry.

Every time I mention my kids on here, it never fails. Some random conservative account who doesn't know my story is going to rudely ask "How did you get your kids?" I've noticed it a lot more lately. 1/2

@Shansanity @DanWuori Remember how Eloise’s first sugar was gelato in Italy? Time to plan something epic for baby #2

@DanWuori @EmilyRose_S 😂😂😂

Imagine consuming primarily milk and puréed vegetables your entire life, then trying ice cream for the very first time. I can’t stop watching this little one’s reaction. 😄

I should have expected that the only person with any logic on stage at the Republican primary debate would be the lone woman. #NikkiHaley

This tweet alone proves we should be paying writers more.

@darrylstweeting Dead 💀

this is the vermont beverly metro station near my apartment in koreatown after the hurriquake in los angeles