Emo Kylo Ren

“Things might be tough now, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.” the light at the end of the tunnel:

Why do people always say “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” after a break up? I’m not trying to fuck a fish

When your local Tim Horton’s hires an Indian boss and they fire all the staff to replace them with people also from India

Went to her house to hook up but we didn’t so I stole 50 bucks from her wallet

When someone says "eww!! what is that smell?" but my 72hr deodorant still has 7 minutes left so I know it isn't me

I’m scared of Facebook marketplace

Why does the new Harry Potter look like a lesbian cosplaying Harry Potter?

“You’ll use my referral code”

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I don’t run from my demons. I cum in them.

@soychotic She’s replicating grilled cheeses at night

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If @MrBeast would let me take part in a competition that would be amazing.

Feel the rain on your dick or whatever Natasha Bedingfield said

Gas prices are like women in long term relationships. They only go down long enough to make you happy then they come right back up.

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Everytime I wear boxers with sweatpants I feel like a grandfather clock

Go to the animal shelter for a dog? You're a hero. Go to a women's shelter for a girlfriend? Suddenly I'm the problem.

Please lower the cost of living. I’m not built for onlyfans

She blocked you with the same hand she used to put it back in when it slipped out