Ethan Houston

Learning to live with sleep-eating disorder is a really tough pillow to swallow

Chicken Little: THE SKY IS FALLING! Vince Staples: -BABY DROP THAT ASS BEFORE IT CRASH #ASCENSION #HUMANZ

This buddy muffling his giggles at his phone. Adorable.

I just wish all animals had their own recreational drug the way cats have catnip. #WholesomeTweet

"Is that famous diver still competing? The Canadian guy? Michael Phelps?" - gf Goddamnit.

Pretty sure I had a wet dream when I was 12 that was PokemonGo

PokemonGo is the coolest mother-psyducking thing to happen in a long time.

Your head probably isn't symmetrical. Mine isn't. Kinda sucks.

When you shred too much cheese and don't know what to do with it, so you shove it in your fat face hole and still smell like chocolate milk

Stats is hard, chocolate milk is harder

When most of your friends are done university and your still here spilling chocolate milk on your stats assignment.

Too scared to turn around.

Someone said my name on the bus.

i dont need valentines day to tell me to treat m'lady right just like i don't need st patricks day to tell me to day drink and shit my pants

If you want to celebrate my b-day please RT #BellLetsTalk 'cuz it removes the stigma from depression. It will make me...slightly...happier.

Can someone social media the moon!? I don't have access to outside!!!!

"For anyone here who remembers first year calculus, these first few images should be familiar" ..... FUCK

You don't ask to see the bartenders tits then stiff him on the tip. #SomePeople #ITellYa

Forgot the axioms of probability. Wrote them as the the rules of fight club instead. #FishingForHalfMarks

Can't wait for the countdown snap stories tonight people! Make them loud, blurry and inaudible!