Eve Delaney

Holding a candle up to the toilet to see if I’ve left skid marks because my lights have broken and I don’t know how to fix == Victorian vibes!!

We’re halfway there now guys! 👨‍🍳

Would mean the world to me if this tweet could go viral (for once) x

@pollybindman That could be cool !

@EveDelaney I want this to go viral

The perfect man doesn’t exi- st

Clear heads, full butts, can’t lose

A man every time I wear a nice dress: “nice skirt”

My mum on FaceTime to London

We have a new featured artist of the month! Meet @EveDelaney. She create multimedia collages and paintings inspired by topics including mental health, women’s history and chronic illness. This piece is "Jus de Cranberry" Buy the print here: vaginamuseumshop.co.uk/collections/fe…

Noughties kids: iPads 🤣 90s kids: bubble writing 🥺 Cavemen kids: berries 🤪

Two things that make me a grownup: 1) I refer to my acne as “adult acne” 😎 and 2) I pour my bag of crisps into a bowl before I eat them

Chronically ill parents all over the country are suffering - I’m sure they had the instinct to get some help from parents/friends but haven’t because they’re following the RuLeS 😇😡😡😡 and staying at home

I have genuinely so many funny thoughts on the notes on my phone but I can’t tweet them cus I’m not ready to go viral yet 🥺🥺🥺

Woke Dads on Zoom 💖 a stupid Cupid little sketch I wrote with my stupidly hot and stupid friend @JohnTothill

Writers in quarantine: Just the same except Hampstead ladies pond is closed

Comedians in quarantine: - does just the first week of couch to 5K - moves in with their parents - talks loudly about “making a yummy brunch” whilst their parents are on business calls - makes their parents film them doing RaNDOm stufF - existential crisis

An actor in quarantine: - wants to get back into their theatre roots - demands the biggest room in the house as their “office” - reads first page of importance of being earnest - reads first page of an actor prepares - emails agent: “I look at acting in a very different way now”

@JamesMGCoward Send me the cat one please

1. American werewolf in London 2. Wallace and gromit: the wrong trousers 3. Alien 4. Midnight cowboy 5. That video of the cat being told he’s adopted

@JamesMGCoward @JohnTothill @francescobell @dandanemery @paddy_delaney @jackrooke @KittyWordsworth @scarcurtis @Molly_Seymour I’d like to switch mean girls and book smart please

@JamesMGCoward @JohnTothill @francescobell @dandanemery 5 perfect films : 1) cheaper by the dozen 2) parenthood 3) almost famous 4) mean girls 5) phantom thread. ty for the nom. Your turn: @paddy_delaney @jackrooke @KittyWordsworth @scarcurtis @Molly_Seymour

5 Perfect Films 1. Alien 2. Aliens 3. Predator 4. Predator 2 5. Alien versus predator