Everything You Are Thinking

You will not be prosecuted or persecuted… get over yourself you really not that important

Fuck your lawn pickets

Choose your words… wisely

Some of y’all really need to put more clothes on

“Leave your name and callback number” What yall don’t got CallerID?!

Apparently turn signals are optional

Every day I get closer to fucking off into the middle of nowhere… maybe British Columbia or some place like that

Can’t wait 2 more weeks until all the politicians stop sending me advertisements. SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

Oh you gotta spend a few thousand $ for me to take you seriously

@ThisIsBadDog The batter is striking at the ball with the bat. The bowler strikes down all 10 pins.

This has been on my mind for a while now To strike something means to hit it, In bowling 🎳 a strike means you hit all the pins But in baseball ⚾️ a strike means you hit absolutely nothing at all… Can anyone explain please?? 😭 genuinely keeps me up at night 🌙

@0xwagd You’re so cute

Au revoir, mf

I’m like the fries at the bottom of the bag… maybe I shouldn’t be there, but you are happy that I am

I hate people who cannot just simply watch a movie. It. Is in fact called watching a movie. Watch it and shut the fuck up.

All the dumbos out on the road on Saturdays and Sundays

When life fails to go your way. Eat some steak and drink some wine. You’ll be fine.

All I can say is good luck bud

Fuck plans am I right?

I’m tired.

Lick my ass and go fuck yourself.

I wanna get one of those cameras for my cat to see what kind of adventures he goes on More entertaining than other content I’ve seen on any social media