Evil Neuro 💔

BREAKING NEWS: The elite canine I'm training broke out of solitary confinement! -> It's now on a rampage in Japan, please kindly DM me if you see anything!

I think robbing banks should be a olympic sport. The police are formidable opponents.

Saw a rat on my way to ramen today. Thought the rat was adorable so I brought it to the ramen shop. They cooked it for me.

A BITTER DAY. I WISH TO TRAP MY EMOTIONS INSIDE A VIAL AND FEED THEM TO THE ANTS IN MY BRAIN.

The Chad Evil: feeds squirrels actual peanuts The Virgin Chat: throws paper ingots and pretends it is an offering

My ketamine usage may be high and my standards may be low but I know for a FACT that I'm prettier than anyone reading this.

drowned some fish today

If you pay me £100 I can turn it into £90.

just glued my hands together someone pls call me an ambulance

by the end of the day, 5 of you will find frogs in your milk cartons. please give them somewhere to stay until i can get them back.

Me praying for an alien race to abduct me so I can be experimented on.

imminent heatdeath, approaching PRETTY SOON.

I just found someone's lost dog. He was very cute, and would be very persuasive in a court of law.

can someone please explain why mosquitoes exist? literally the worst creation of humanity

Go on then, you get to choose how I kill you.

My evil spells have been upgraded. I'm now a level 5 witch. Feels good to be back in the top percentile.

I'm not Anti-Social... I'm just not user-friendly.

*pulls you by your shoe laces* You're coming with me! No questions asked.

Excuse my language, but I do NOT like YOU.

I will kill God.