Maria Ronson

258 posts

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Maria Ronson

Maria Ronson

@FBIAgentRonson

Special Agent Maria Ronson of the Federal Bureau of Ingestion, at your service. Investigator, often ravenous. (Lewd, no minors/taboo, 29yo)

Katılım Şubat 2026
352 Takip Edilen281 Takipçiler
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
For years the Federal Bureau of Ingestion has monitored predators and prey. Thanks to agents like Maria Ronson, hungry criminals are apprehended and the innocent saved. But the darkness never goes away. “It ain’t easy. Truth is, it gets harder every day…now get over here.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
“How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, huh? It’s almost like you enjoy getting your picture taken like this. And close your mouth, damn it!”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@Vorny_Zenny “Did you not realise? I…I’m trying to arrest you. And we are well past paying now. So you got two choices, either I’m having a taste of moose meat or…” Maria paused. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. “Honestly, I’ll probably just be tasting moose meat. Sorry.•
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🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)
🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)@Vorny_Zenny·
@FBIAgentRonson *their eyes widened as they heard the word cop* "Hu- a cop?! I thought you weren't an uncool cop???" *They started sweating nervously* "I- is this about the ticket? I wa- was on my way to pay it!" *They were clearly lying, as they pulled out their wallet a fly came out*
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
“Hey you! Yeah, you!” In the station lobby, Maria signalled for you to approach. “You done any crimes lately? Come on, you can tell me. I’m not a cop!” She was clearly a cop. Her badge stuck out of her pocket. “Maybe we go around the back and you…feed me some info…”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@Vorny_Zenny “As a cop, I know a great deal about the intelligence of moose. I’ve worked with smart moose. I’ve lived with smart moose. You ma’am are no smart moose.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@R3D1ST0X1C “I’ll consider it…my off duty work. Bodyguard, security, whatever you want to call it. I’ll be there, ma’am.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
“Burned out? Me? Ahahaha! Oh man! That’s hilarious!” Maria was clearly exhausted and (despite her protests), burned out. “It’s been a hell of a week. Wait, it’s Monday? Oh fuck…”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@Vorny_Zenny “You’re a…you ain’t smart, are you?” Maria fondled the cuffs in her pocket, considering whether to arrest this clueless moose.
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🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)
🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)@Vorny_Zenny·
@FBIAgentRonson "a sting?! N- no I'm allergic to bees!!" *The moose put their hands on the wall despite not fully understanding what was happening* "I- is the bee gone?! What's happening?!... Also... I'm not a horse!...." *They were shaking in fear for the wrong reasons*
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@R3D1ST0X1C “Alright, easy now. You may be an empress but flattery can become bribery real quick. Although don’t stop…”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@BreakingB4D4U “You…you see that’s the second decoy.” Maria was finding it difficult to excuse the slapdash disguise. Instead, she shook her head. “You know what, maybe I should ask what you’re doing here all alone in a cop shop. What brings you here then, finally handing yourself in? Good!”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@BreakingB4D4U “Yeah…yeah, because what kind of cop would have a badge so obviously there when they’re undercover? It’s a decoy. Throws people off. It’s cop stuff, you wouldn’t get it.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@BreakingB4D4U “Alright, well, the undercover disguise doesn’t work on people who already know me. Don’t flatter yourself.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@Vorny_Zenny “Cool? Me? I mean, yes, definitely cool. Not like those uncool cops.” Stepping into the back alley, which Maria used a card to get to, she sighed. “Alright, hands against the wall. This is a sting. You think you could just speed and get away with it, you weird Canadian horse!?”
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🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)
🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)@Vorny_Zenny·
@FBIAgentRonson "oh ah me? Cool? That's... Really generous of you miss..." *Despite the moose suspecting the badge, they said nothing and assumed it's a fake* "Of course you ain't no cop! Y- you look cool too m- miss!" *The moose followed the "most clearly a cop" person ever out*
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@BreakingB4D4U “What’s a dolt? That sounds like something a cop would say. And I cannot stress this enough, I ain’t no stinkin’ cop.”
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@Vorny_Zenny “Speeding!? Woah that’s super cool and definitely not dangerous.” Maria’s face seemed torn between feigned excitement and genuine anger. “In that case you should definitely follow me. We’ll go out where all the cool people go. Not cops, because I ain’t no cop, got it?”
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🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)
🖤🖤Ravena's Gamer Moose Meal🖤🖤(Zenny Shade)@Vorny_Zenny·
@FBIAgentRonson *the moose hadn't done anything aside from speeding last week.... She still had the unpaid ticked on her* "Uhh.... I... Speeding? I don't think there's any info to give about that..." *The moose was clearly confused, an oblivious prey too innocent to realize what's happening*
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Maria Ronson
Maria Ronson@FBIAgentRonson·
@BreakingB4D4U “Yeah, sure, I take a day off and suddenly crime rate shoot up and I get hungry for more action. I know how this works. Crime doesn’t sleep, and neither do I!”
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Keşfet

@Vorny_Zenny @R3D1ST0X1C @BreakingB4D4U @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13 @cristiano @BillGates