First Things First

The more you look for the good in your spouse, the more you'll see. At the same time, the more you focus on the bad in your spouse, the more you'll see.

No matter where your relationship is at right now, you have the power to change it. Take action by: 🔶Learning new skills 🔶Attending workshops 🔶Reading a Book 🔶Seeking guidance from a pastor or counselor Positive change starts with taking different actions.

@stugray This is SO true.

The most telling sign of an emotionally safe partner is their ability to create a safe space for their loved one to be vulnerable and share their innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.

How to avoid fighting with your partner often: Make the conscious choice to overlook small mishaps. Ask yourself: In the context of my entire relationship, to what extent is this really a big deal? Is this a foundational issue that is worth threatening my relationship over?

Love yourself so well that the trauma you’ve blamed yourself for no longer has a place to hide.

A sign of growth is learning to be kind to yourself on your hard days. We are conditioned to shame ourselves for not knowing exactly how to respond to make ourselves happier, or identify what’s wrong. Sometimes we are at a breaking point and what we need most is kindness.

Conversation starter for a deeper date: 1: On a scale of 1-10, how well would you say I know you? 2: What's one thing I can do to be a better listener? 3: How can I better express my feelings and emotions to you? 4: How have you seen me change since the first time we met?

Compassion: "I am moved by you" - A daily practice of using empathy - Recognizes and accepts our shared humanity - Treats ourselves and others with loving-kindness - Active, not passive - Moves us to do something: embrace, assure, advocate

Empathy: "I get it, I believe you, and I feel with you" - An emotional skill set that you can strengthen by practicing - Focuses on a person's emotions, not the events or circumstances - Moves beyond "putting yourself in their shoes" to believing their experience

What's the worst advice you received as a first-time parent?

Sympathy = "I feel so bad for you." - Passive, not active - Keeps emotional distance - Creates disconnection - Can often come across as: 1: Diminishing: "At least..." 2: Dismissing: "Calm down, you're overthinking..." 3: Dishing out advice: "If I were you, I'd..."

Pity = "I feel sorry for you" - Focuses on elevating yourself - Creates emotional distance - Avoids sharing in other's pain - Can dehumanize or belittle someone

Healing is lonely, but the healed version of you is who you need most.

Feelings are fickle. I can have 15 different feelings in about 15 seconds. We have to base our lives on something more than our up and down emotions and feelings.

How does stress affect sex for you? Some people have to feel de-stressed before the lovemaking commences. Others de-stress when they have sex. One isn’t any better than the other. But knowing where your partner is on the spectrum helps you set the tone.

Everyone has their own take on what makes sex enjoyable. Asking your partner what makes it fun for them increases intimacy and facilitates a better experience!

Try this spicy date night this weekend!: firstthings.org/diy-date-night…

@GramBee1975 Yikes, this is true as well!

Moms go into information overload as soon as their kid is born and try their hardest to provide all of the "shoulds" for their kid. There is immense pressure to raise an awesome kid, and moms are told that to do so requires everything from them.

@MsMichele8 Definitely true!