Fake NewYorkTimes

Explained to Somebody Upstairs the page would not be better as an image map of an office where clicking on objects makes stories appear.

Feeling waffly and unsettled here. Can't wait for the Year in Review to tell me what was important this year.

There'll be an ass-whooping: "Nuclear Power Expansion in China Stirs Concerns." Columbia U. grads use "Stirs." Mizzou grads use "Raises"

Next s3kr3t Dowd read-through at Milady's to be performed by SH. He has a red wig and can carry it off after Dowdian levels of gin.

Is this the week for Food Coop outrage or is it Park Slope mothers outrage?

RT @ben_stein1 My login to freelancers.nytimes.com just stopped working. It really is over.

Crosstown bus service is never cut, thanks to a deal made by Metropolitan Diary editors, two witty old women, a saucy toddler, and the MTA.

Suggesting next week's lead Style section story by wearing 1985 Jordache jeans in the cafeteria this week. "Hot new trend!"

Leaving empty notebooks in his path will keep Sewell from sleeping in a credenza. He feels obliged to fill every page before resting.