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United: we didn't start the race to the bottom, but by God we plan to win it!
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Fake Jeff Smisek
7.8K posts
Fake Jeff Smisek
@FakeUnitedJeff
I know you have a choice in parody airline CEOs, and I thank you for choosing FakeUnitedJeff. Sir/boss/jefe. email: [email protected]
Houston, TX Katılım Ocak 2012
0 Takip Edilen3.3K Takipçiler
I feel a tremor in the force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old adversary. @martysg
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If all the bankrupt US airlines post-9/11 had been bought up by an investment group headed by Osama bin Laden so Al-Qaeda could be “free” again, it might match what Twitter feels like today. Bye, folks — it’s been a ride.
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@ericsmithrocks Slept in my Rolling Stones t-shirt and woke up to find a day that broke up my mind.
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Slept in my Dashboard Confessional t-shirt and woke up vindicated.
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@ByERussell Squeezing two turds together. Classic business strategy. I might race to the bottom but those two have been digging the hole deeper for years.
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BREAKING: Frontier Airlines and Spirit Airlines announce plans to merge. $ULCC $SAVE ir.flyfrontier.com/news-releases/…
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I thought I scrubbed all of the old livery before I retired. Still beats buying new sims. Those things ain’t cheap.
Steve Giordano@SteveNomadic
God this thing is an ancient piece of shit!
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Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification
Me: Gosh, remember how great United treated 1Ks?
Liquor store clerk: enjoy your purchase
Naté@MetaCookbook
Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification Me: remember making mixtapes from the radio? You had to hit the “record” button with millisecond timing. Liquor store clerk: enjoy your purchase
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I don’t have much pull at United anymore but if I did I’d make sure that upgrade didn’t clear.
Jake Sherman@JakeSherman
Here’s the upgrade list for this afternoon’s flight from Cancun to Houston. Looks like @tedcruz is on his way back, @danpfeiffer. He’s just narrowly missing the upgrade list That’s assuming that “cru, r” is him. And I do.
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@NYCAviation Just once I want the answer to be “Jefferson Airplane”
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Looks like somebody bought a Trump helicopter. It remains to be seen if it’s being bought for an amount way over reasonable value for a fairly tapped out S76B with some maintenance issues in its history. aeroasset.com/sikorsky-s76b.…
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@Ryanair Yeah, you may need to make sure he’s aware of that mask policy of yours.
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the look of a man who might not have access to Air Force One in the future and will have to fly commercial
don't worry Eric, we have €9.99 fares next time you're in Europe
#Election2020
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Fake Jeff Smisek retweetledi
But companies who buy trucks thought it would burn less fuel, and if there’s a safety problem we can always sue the manufacturer. Problem solved.
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@paul700789 @AirlineFlyer @FurloughedAgain @byerussell Yes. Let’s totally focus more on the pilots, because that distracts us from the choice our airlines made to fly a defective product likely to kill people because it was 7% cheaper to operate.
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@AirlineFlyer @FurloughedAgain @byerussell There’s no denying that MCAS wasn’t perfect but it’s disgraceful that the pilots’s actions and training has barely been criticized
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@martysg If you need to unload some A350s at a steep discount, I’ve been looking for something comfortable to fly from the ranch to the golf course.
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