fartie mac

@joeyjaws Total soup sandwich, joey. Best believe major league eating’s two employees are gonna get an earful from me on this

(3/3) Sadly, this is the decision Nathan's and Major League Eating are making, and it will deprive the great fans of the holiday’s usual joy and entertainment. To my fans, I love you and appreciate you. Rest assured that you’ll see me eat again soon!! STAY HUNGRY!

(2/3)To set the record straight, I do not have a contract with MLE or Nathans and they are looking to change the rules from past years as it relates to other partners I can work with.This is apparently the basis on which I’m being banned, and it doesn’t impact the July 4th event.

@mintminkis @Cups27 @mceasy083 When they say Bob Nutting can suck me slow they mean 3+ hours slow

@Cups27 @mceasy083 Looks like picking tv contract & enhancing viewership over ball park experience I don’t think I leave skull bar under 2 hours

I can't begin to express how shitty this is. If I'm buying tickets to a game, it needs to be a longer experience than 2 hours.

Big congrats to my boy @coachjfranklin on the rose bowl win yesterday - love u bro

Merry Christmas Ger - love u bro give my best to your fam @GerrySandusky

if fetuses knew there’d be no @Jif on the shelves when they got out, they’d be lining up to abort themselves

Big fathers day @coachjfranklin - grab a T bone at Hoss’s on Atherton and call it a day humbabe

And spare me the salmonella story. Oh boo hoo, a batch of the squirts before beach season. Grow up.

Hey @Jif when is ur shit gettin back on the shelves? First baby formula, now Jif. How am I supposed to build back better when 3 quarters of my diet is in fucking Narnia?

@TMZ Fuck this!!!!!!

Bob Saget has died. tmz.me/oPLr8iX

@GerrySandusky And Ger, you’re in good company. I got the rona as well. Nobody told me it caused micropenis!!!

@GerrySandusky Ur not just vaxxed and boosted, Ger. You’re also my fucking boy. Love u

Like so many others right now, I have Covid. I am double vaccinated and I have received a booster shot and still, I tested positive this week. I look forward to returning next week. Until then, let's watch and listen together today—with our masks on.

A huge thanks to @coachjfranklin for makin the trip out west to officiate our wedding. A beautiful speech - easy on the spermicidal, heavy on the F bombs. Thanks coach see u on the field

@mceasy083 From behind enemy lines in Buffalo to between two clarks

@FartieMac #NeverForget

@FartieMac #NeverForget

Yo stone cold @steveaustinBSR I’ve been drinkin ur shit!!! Hell yeah. Now make it in bottles so I can break the glass and play your entry music

@AP Shit!!!

Joey Jordison, a founding member of Slipknot, who drummed for the influential metal band in its most popular period and helped write many of its best-known songs, has died at age 46. apne.ws/dxi5Sih

@latimes Fuck yeah Toob!!!! Toob sock boogie. Missed you bro.

Longtime CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin returned to the network for the first time since masturbating during a Zoom meeting attended by the staff of the New Yorker, where he worked for 27 years until his dismissal in November. latimes.com/entertainment-…

@NBAHistory @Hoophall Holy christ on a bike timmy D lookin like the homeless dude who shits in my apartment building

Tim Duncan receives his official Hall of Fame Class Jacket and Ring. #20HoopClass x @Hoophall

@coachjfranklin .hell yeah Jimmy Franks. Love you bro and love your picture frame @Lawmerica

Happy Mother's Day Nittany Nation! We are very thankful for all our moms, what you do, how you do it & your daily words of encouragement! We wish you a wonderful day! #WeAre

@bkeisel99 @tpolamalu Quit messin around, name it Alan Fanecalf or Heath Mooler and then put out a sex tape! Love u keisel

Narrowed the new calf name down to 2. What’s it going to be? 🤠

@cher Agreed fuck yea Cher

PLS NO GIGANTASAURUS REX “75’S”