Fereshteh Forghani retweetledi
Today I was supposed to be on my way to Türkiye for my wedding, to meet up with my family and have them finally meet my partner and husband. We had everything planned. We chose Turkiye since it's close to Iran and my partner and I could both go there and have our families meet each other. We were supposed to get married with our close family and a small group of friends on a boat on the Mediterranean Sea at sunset. Because of the war, all flights to and from Iran are cancelled and my family can’t leave Iran, so we had to call off the wedding.
Instead, this is how my day looked like.
I woke up to a reminder to call my grandma (I used to call her every Friday morning). I snoozed the reminder until next Friday, just like I have done for the past many years. I can’t call her like our tradition these days because there is no way to call home. All international calls to Iran are blocked, and the internet is fully shut down by the regime.
I got to work and right as I opened my computer I received an email I had scheduled to send to myself 5 years ago: “Apply for citizenship.” This summer marks 11 years of being in the US and 5 years of being a green card holder. I am now eligible to file for citizenship, but it doesn’t matter because an executive order was signed a few months ago that banned all Iranians from applying for any visa or citizenship.
At lunch I opened Twitter just to see what’s up in the world and saw the news that those who don’t have a green card now need to leave the US before they can get one. This means every one of my Iranian friends who are here on a visa now has to go back home (on which flight?) to get a green card??? As if it’s that easy? We all know getting back to the US for Iranians is a huge challenge (months and months of waiting for a visa, with a chance of never being able to come back).
And this is just a normal Friday for an Iranian. These days, when people ask how I’m doing and how I’m handling everything, I just say:
It’s okay, it’s okay. It will be okay some day. But the reality is: nothing is okay. I’m in constant pain. I haven’t seen my family and loved ones in years, I barely hear about their wellbeing, and I’m constantly worried about them. I’m just burying myself in work because that’s the only distraction that can save me from losing my mind.
I’m not okay. None of us are okay. We are just barely holding it together…
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