Fergus Craig

My next book cover changed again, by the way. Basically, the Australian and New Zealand publishers said that they liked the UK cover but they also liked the colours on the American cover and then we decided that we agreed, so now this is also the UK cover.

Yes, but, if I'm understanding it correctly, if France beat Argentina in the final, then the Falklands will return to France.

@Snoz99 Love a 99. It's nicer than a Fab. But costs about 3 times as much and has about three times as many calories and is not three times nicer. I've thought this through.

@FergusCraig I’m sorry, your comedic prowess is beyond reproach but good god, have you never eaten a 99?

In terms of pleasure derived and money and calories spent, I reckon the Fab ice lolly is the best value thing in the UK.

@ObscureMH I was right. Rice is fucked. Should have gone for Mainoo instead of Eze.

@FergusCraig Mainoo for Rice. I assume you're still in comedian mode?

Mainoo for Rice now I reckon. Saka for Madueke on sixty minutes.

Throwing mugs of peppermint tea around the living room, Boxpark style.

Putting it all on the line: if Norway win tonight, I'm never getting a Norwegian takeaway again.

@MaryWatson42867 Ah yes, you have the American edition which makes sense!

@FergusCraig I live in Indiana and this was the cover I received. I purchased it off Amazon. 😊

My next book cover changed again, by the way. Basically, the Australian and New Zealand publishers said that they liked the UK cover but they also liked the colours on the American cover and then we decided that we agreed, so now this is also the UK cover.

@MaryWatson42867 I'm so glad you enjoyed it! The sequel is called "I'm Not the Only Murderer at This Wedding" and it's out next February.

@FergusCraig Just finished this book and it was a scream. But I really want a sequel as Carol needs to be sprung from prison to continue sleuthing about the countryside. 😉

Smart of FIFA to schedule the first night off of the World Cup to coincide with the release of the Katie Price doc.

@ObscureMH If I was as posh as I’d like to be, I wouldn’t have realised just after taking this photo that I had ice cream all over my shorts.

@FergusCraig Is it that you are posh?

Missing the football because of this.

@Nigel_Farage @KateEMcCann Feeling flush?

I have spoken to the CEO of Tendring District Council. Reform has offered to cover the cost of the by-election. I will be writing to Rachel Reeves later today with the same message. Given that we asked for this by-election in the first place, it’s only right that we pay for it.

On four hours sleep but refuse to go to bed because it feels like there's a good chance we'll get to see Ronaldo cry tonight.

@England Did anyone manage to capture a picture?

We’re on this journey together🌟🏟️

Trump to ref USA's game in a golf buggy tonight.

Bad news guys. Once a tweet has over 6000 likes, you have to buy the person's internationally acclaimed cozy crime novel. I don't make the rules! amazon.co.uk/Everybody-Reti…

Imagine how much staying up for this match is going to knock Steven Bartlett back this week.

@ruskellbarton Oooh, good shout. I only really remember the Platt goal.

@FergusCraig Cameroon in 90?

In my lifetime, I think that might be the first World Cup classic match England have been in that they’ve actually won.

Glad I stayed up for Harry Kane's voice.