Charlie 🇰🇪

A short story on Kasongo Ruto’s Reign: A Tale of Promises Pale Mwanzo wa 2022, hope ilikuwa high, “Hustlers” wote wakisema, “Ruto ndiye guy,” Aka-promise jobs, affordable housing na more, Lakini sasa twalia, “Where’s the score?”

@Mutua_kymoney @muthonyyyyy Inaumaaaa jameni

@FitzDawood @muthonyyyyy hapa naeza sema ni ile story ya a log in your eye before removing a spec in someone else

Isn't this babe taking a selfie with Sugoi man Rex Maasai's cousin???? Tunakuwanga na ujinga sana as Kenyans. How do you dine and laugh with your cousin's killer??????????

@ItsLeecapalot 😂😂

When you go to a lying competition then you meet Ruto as your opponent 😭😭

@WashiraX Bahali yake blain 😂

Eastleigh is not laughing with KRA. Over the weekend, I visited my woria friend in Eastleigh. He owed me camel meat. He told me: Okuyu, kuja nikupeleke bahali yake. He took me to a camel meat joint. He told me to order. I asked the waiter: mko na nini? He said: rafiki iko ngamia tatu. Ngamia imekaangwa, ngamia blain, na ngami... Before he finished, I asked: Hiyo blain iko na nini? He said: Imechemshwa na chumvi. I told him, niletee ngamia choma. Suddenly, every head turned to our table. My woria friend quickly took charge. Ordered 3 plates. 2 Blain and 1 imekaangwa. I have no clue how those chefs do it. But it was the sweetest and softest meat I have eaten this year. My friend, if you have never eaten camel in isirii, I don't even know why I am talking to you. • Lesson 1: Those chefs should be arrested. Unaweza malizia school fees ya watoto hapo. As we stood to leave, I see the one and only Eastleigh mall. Immediately I remember what they did to KRA. When the mall was constructed. It cost 96 million. They also said the name Eastleigh mall is a brand. They gave it a brand value of 10% of the building cost. And called it goodwill. A whopping 9 million shillings. Total cost = 104 million. That is what they reported to KRA in their 2008 tax return. They then divided this cost over 13 years. The period to fully deduct building costs from tax. 8M per year. All legal. From 2008 to 2017, Eastleigh mall and KRA are good buddies. They even say cheers while taking coffee together. Then one morning in 2017, KRA arrives at Times Tower and finds a letter from Eastleigh Mall. It reads: • Hello KRA. You see that 104M we told you. We made a mistake. It's actually 200 million. We now have a fresh valuation report. We want to amend our returns from 2008. Tutoe 104 Million bahali yake tuweke 200 Million. KRA officer thought his spectacles had been hacked. He removed them. Saw the same numbers live. KRA asked, what do you mean? They responded: The amendment will help us deduct higher depreciation and lower our taxes. KRA rejected it instantly. It didn't end there. KRA immediately smelled a tax evasion scheme. They deployed spies to investigate Eastleigh mall. The spies seized their most critical documents. The most important being management accounts. The spies returned with a very disturbing report. There were huge understatements between the actual income and what had been declared. Angrily, KRA slapped the mall with a tax demand of 386M. The mall protested. They wrote an objection letter to KRA showing they had paid all taxes and that management accounts were just internal projections. They sat and waited for a reply. Clock started ticking. At times tower, KRA is sipping chai undecided whether to accept or reject the objection. As KRA is doing this, KRA is unaware of 1 dangerous sentence chilling quietly in the Kenyan tax laws. It reads. - As surely as the sun shall rise tomorrow. Any objection decision issued by KRA after 60 days shall be invalid. But the Eastleigh accountant knew that sentence very well. He put 60 beans in his wallet. Every morning, he removed and dropped one bean in his office tin. Day 61 reached. His wallet is empty. KRA has not responded. He rushed to the director. Bossi, KRA has not responded. We owe them nothing. Tumeshinda. Call the party. Many months later, KRA sends their reply. - Hello mall. We hope this email finds you well. We have not forgotten you. We reject your protest letter. You must pay us 400M. The mall ran to court. - They argued that KRA’s failure to respond within 60 days meant the objection was allowed and no tax was due. • The tax appeal Tribunal said noo. The 60 days is just a mere technicality. Bring us more documents for review. The mall refused to supply more records. The Tribunal sided with KRA and ordered the mall to pay KRA 386m. KRA retreated to Times Towers telling the mall na tuliwawon. The mall ran to the high court. They argued again, no response within 60 days means no tax. The good judge asked KRA: Is it true that you responded out of time. KRA nodded like this. The judge removed his spectacles. Paused. Then sided with the mall. The mall was ordered to pay zero. KRA was ordered to pay the mall legal fees. Case closed. Lesson 2. • If KRA does not respond to your objection letter within 60 days, call the party. You have won. • If KRA pushes, run to court and ask for legal costs. Courts will not hesitate.

@sholard_mancity Huyu labda tumpatie kazi ya kuserve kasongo huko kamiti

Alice Wahome now wants the governor’s seat in Murang'a County. It would be a serious mistake for Murang’a to remove Irungu Kang'ata after everything he has delivered, replacing proven results with political experiments. Across Kenya, many people admire what Murang’a has achieved under his leadership. Choices have consequences, and if progress made so far stalls after this, the responsibility will rest with the voters.

@KijanayaKabras Hapo saaaasa

@FitzDawood Pia wao wako ready 🤣

Sugoi residents are ready to receive their son back 😂😂😂😂

When my art comes on your timeline. Watch the retweet. Share Widely !! “Mr President 📝✍🏾…….”

@alfredarapketer Mnaonea kijana ya nyumbani sana na mnaona amefanya kazi hapa Nandi bana. Korom

A Mass Exodus From UDA Loading! They will not believe it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #RutoMustGoNow

@njanja_dennis Wazi jomba

@FitzDawood Mzee 😂😂. Done

What has Ruto done for the Kalenjin Community, leave alone Kenya? A very uncomfortable conversation you guys don't wanna have. Mtu wetu syndrome will kill y'all. At least kwetu Murima we got tarmac roads kila mahali, piped water every homestead, na modern schools si zile tunaonanga online huko kwenu being juxtaposed with churches that your leaders led by Ruto attend Haraambees every damn Sunday.

@njanja_dennis But si ni kweli jomba, huku ript palley hatuitaji bana. FB basi, 😂

@FitzDawood Ndugu yangu Charlie, umenikesha asubuhi ya leo 😂😂

Sorry but @Wakabando wins. I almost rigged.

@Chep1_ Korom

‘Aweksei amaek mursik Chego’ Kikobulyo ak kong'em sotonik😭😭😂

Kwa mrima ukiingia na UDA ni kama kuuza nguruwe Eastleigh sahii

@Maryian96 Alafu ukuje upatane na hii, unakwisia. Sema kimemuumania

It must be so painful to Ruto and his battalion who camped in Muranga for a whole week,paid crowds to show us he still have the ground then Kangata was like hold my beer,it doesn't work like that brother 😂😂😂

Lord of Thieves 😂😂 kwisia

Kanaflow vizuri sana pale ript palley

@B_haestro Korom boiyot

Nimeamka napata huko green app group ya uasin gishu wantam and tutam sides are fighting. 2am, Na Ni kama uliam Ni kuenda anaenda