Ian Fiveankles

Insights from Steve "Bouldy" Bould as to why Arsenal are so hated right now. With unbiased interview from yours truly.

@Alreytchuck Have you played it with the sound on? To the end?

@Fiveankles Sorrywhatpardon

The moment a commentator refers to Havertz as Arteta’s “bitch”: #Arsenal

Good to see the President consulting Luis Suárez on the Middle East. He'll get his teeth into this, for sure.

Earlier today referee Craig Pawson halted his son's game of Pass The Parcel after Tommy Dawkins touched the parcel a fraction of a second after the music stopped but still expected to unwrap it. After Dawkins stopped crying a caution was issued. Rules are rules.

Today’s football insight: Michael Carrick has a nice face.

Congratulations Macclesfield on beating Crystal Palace. The magic of the cup. “The television mast. . . concrete dinosaurs. . .erm. . .the Great Exhibition of 1854. . .your boys took one helluva beating”.

With the wonderful @LauraKirk12

If the history of life on earth is condensed into a single day, then humans did not appear until 11:59pm and 59 seconds, so one second before midnight. And if you look closely you can see James Milner coming on for his first Premier League appearance.

@PaoloCraviolat1 Happy New Year to you too!

@Fiveankles Great insight as usual! Happy new year five ankles!!!

The next Man Utd manager obviously has to know the club, it has to be in his DNA. Personally I would go for Scott McTominay. He can be a player / manager, albeit playing for Napoli whilst managing United.

Wow! That was quite a ride.

Live from the MCG, day two. #Ashes

Live from the MCG

Live update from the MCG to follow.

Top top top top Christmas Jumpers, with 20% of proceeds going to Crisis

We went at each other like a pair of dads fighting over the last sunbed in Benidrom. Both of us sent off, but we laugh about it now. Well, I do. He still sends me messages on social media like “arse wipe”, “f*ck nugget” and the enigmatic “Steve McClaren”. 🧵3/3

Our left-back turned on me and shouted that I was crap, a bell end and a nonce. I couldn’t calm him down, even though I shouted back about the “growing as a wildebeest” thing. So I did the next most professional action and punched him on the snout. 🧵2/3

Loved that Moyes was okay with the Gueye and Keane bust up. I once scored a hat trick of own goals at Leyton Orient. It was bad but even at the time I could feel myself growing as a player, as a person and as a spiritual animal (mine is wildebeest if anyone's asking). 🧵1/3