Fletch

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Fletch

Fletch

@FletchReports

Irwin M. Fletcher. Investigative reporter for Jane Doe. I write things. I ask questions. Mostly inappropriate ones. Parody account, but you knew that.

Los Angeles, CA Katılım Haziran 2017
58 Takip Edilen8.9K Takipçiler
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
If you're curious why I created an account. Well, Twitter didn't exist in 1985 and TBH we could really use the laughs today. RT if you agree
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Just a heads up. I have it on good authority that someone very close to you is definitely bucking for a promotion.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
“You’ll be wearing rubber gloves…do you own rubber gloves?” “I rent em. I have a lease with an option to buy“
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Now Hulk Hogan? What the hell is going on. Are we certain they’re not just extremely sleepy?
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Worried about the workforce? I'm taking action. Here’s my latest article on Jane Doe. This could be my best work yet, despite Frank's opinion.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Some men leave legacies. I leave aliases and a very confused dry cleaner.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Your reminder to not take life too seriously. Trust me, there’s nothing that a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwhich can’t fix.
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Fletch@FletchReports·
Subsequently, Arnold T. Pants is foaming at the mouth.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
This Fourth of July, take a few moments to enjoy your beverage and remember Fred "The Dorf” Dorfman, who unfortunately recently succumbed to a flare-up of syphilis.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Wishing Marvin Stanwyk a Happy Father’s Day today, since his son won't be.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Rest in peace, George Wendt, AKA Fat Sam. Thanks for all the free junk.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, especially Velma Stanwyk! P.S.. Sorry about your asshole son.
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
The real ones don’t use sportsbook apps when there are so many decent off-track betting options in the Himalayas. Smaller story, but I know you’ve been following it. #Kentuckyderby2025
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
The only person who can save the Lakers. #LakersWolves
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
Excuse me señor, you are a member of the club?
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Fletch
Fletch@FletchReports·
We need new parents to consider Fletch aliases as potential names for their newborns. The world needs to hear "John Coctostan" get drafted in the 2046 NFL draft. #NFLDraft2025
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