Eric

If I could have a little of your time it would mean the world to me. This is about my child. I hate asking for help, but if you can, please. 🙏 I’m not asking you this as a VTuber, I’m asking you as a mother. Past few weeks have been really hard and I need to have an outlet, I would like to always be transparent with my community as without you guys I wouldn’t be where I am now. I thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Most of you know this, I have a beautiful 7 year old boy who is mentally challenged and non verbal, he uses very few words and the only words he uses are echolalia. Therefor he can’t tell me if he’s in pain, hungry, needs something.. and instead resorts to trying to harm himself / hit his head really hard / scream & panic to make clear something is wrong. He also refuses to walk all the time because of his anxiety and needs a special stroller or to be carried by me, this makes him feel safe. For him going outside is a challenge. It’s always a puzzle trying to understand him but I do my best for him each time and always will. I’m his full time caregiver which can take a toll on me sometimes and my reason why I haven’t been too active as of lately on here. Or postponed streaming for as long as I did. His behaviour has changed recently where he has multiple panic attacks a day, heavier ones than usual, hurts himself a lot which by hitting his own head which worries me the most as he’s full of bruises from hitting himself. I always immediately intervene but sometimes can not prevent a hit happening matter how fast I am. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what. I asked him so many questions that I know he can’t respond to. So.. past weeks we have been in the emergency room at the hospital multiple times now, taking him to different hospitals each time as not many medical staff here knows how to deal with children like him. At the hospital he becomes hysterical and doesn’t allow doctors near him.. but at last, he was finally diagnosed yesterday and long story short- he needs surgery. He has a rupture in his abdominal wall where his intestines now leak through when he stands up. ( you will see a huge bulge in his groin area, this is his intestines sliding down towards his genitals ), It’s not super uncommon in people ( commonly men ) and in itself “shouldn’t” be that painful. It’s the kind of thing where “as long as it doesn’t hurt yet, it’s not an emergency” but once it hurts “be here within 6 hours or…”, meanwhile the rupture gets bigger, as long as his intestines don’t get “stuck” there he should be “fine”. Whether he’s in a lot of pain or just uncomfortable by the feeling that’s there, is another thing I unfortunately don’t know as he can’t tell me. But I do know that for him being uncomfortable that’s the same as pain. It causes the same trauma and panic. It feels awful knowing your child needs something but can’t express it. It feels awful knowing he needs you but you don’t understand what he needs. Past week I have been pushing his intestines back in place whenever I can or when he lets me and each time has been awful for him. I need to keep doing this until his surgery which is scheduled in a few weeks from now. The next few weeks will be very challenging for us both. Both mentally, physically and financially. I’ve talked about him often on here and I thank you for always being kind and listening. The surgery will be a great cost and the emergency room is known to be quite costly too so I’m fearing for those bills that’s coming. He needs his own room at the hospital due to his condition and for some reason they love to charge a lot for solo rooms.. despite it being a must for some people rather than a vanity. We’re not “poor” and get by for the most part for food and his health care, but we don’t have any extras and certainly don’t have money set aside for emergencies like these.