Officer Hogslop

@lilgrapefruits Woman door head honk car door

Wearing a bra at work? What’s next, panties?

roseate spoonbill STUNS at wet gala

Love the ultramarine reference

@LizarddFish I don’t have any evidence to back this up but I thought “trans*” was a play on * as a wildcard character in search terms. Like if you search “trans*” that would bring up both transgender and transsexual

folx gets filed into the same part of my brain that trans* does, like "wow that was a weird thing people did and then stopped doing almost immediately after. what's up with that?"

need a lesbian who can do all three

I can’t believe after all the hype I’ve read about yellowjackets there’s only one gay couple among the girls in the forest? All this talk of survival cannibalism, where’s the survival lesbianism????

Do u wanna come over and lay in bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

@maisonfrogiela What if you were invited but declined to attend bc it would be too overwhelming and offered to go for lunch alone with the bride-to-be before her party lmao

I think the only diagnostic criteria you need for adult woman autism is if she’s already 27+ and has never been invited to a bachelorette party

@woundjob I suspect, like most things, it depends on whether you’re circumcised

do calloused feet make footjobs better or worse

i have a question you’re going to hate

I feel like i evolved from bacteria more recently than most people

hey sorry i was insane and annoying last night. it’s just that i’m insane and annoying

@All_Lee24 A friend of mine’s OCD therapist made her send him mean emails 😭 literally prescribed cyberbullying

I think it’s so funny that the recommendation I get from my therapist for treating moral OCD is the usual ERP which, in the case, of moral OCD, means being told “try being a little evil”

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and i forgot to worry about it

you ever explain some of the milder symptoms of your chronic illness and see the look of horror in their eyes so you kinda don’t wanna tell them the worst parts

its not diagnosed but i think i have the Wake up and suffer forever and ever and Ever until i die disorder

@falseroxy In fact, any masked/covid conscious event or meetup is going to be full of queer people. Literally the easiest demographic to make friends in if you’re immunocompromised

They said please help yourself to a scoop of the miscellaneous DNA pile

@dietxcokewhore Not true. @Thomas_showoff has several beautiful rugs he found in the garbage

why do you have to be born with generational wealth to be able to afford a decent area rug

we found a fallen angel laying in a crater in the woods. we are going to slow cook it into broth