Freya9Tails SFW

Him: I don’t think I have space for a r’ship in my life right now Me: that’s fine, I don’t have space for you in my bed right now as my cat now takes up 3/4 of it. 🤷‍♀️

So I banged a physics teacher and I didn’t even argue with him about quantum mechanics. I think I’m growing as a person. 😇

@englishservant1 Teeth falling out? Just given up on crunchy food? Should’ve gone to TeethSavers.

@FreyaFeral Specsavers need to get into dentistry. Imagine the adverts...

Booking routine appointments; Opticians “we can see you tomorrow if you like, or any day you like” Dentist “first available appointment is 25th January” 🤷‍♀️

I know this is the ultimate in British-ness but why does it have to be so hard to see a fucking dentist?!?!

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, a self renovated house brings me to theirs.

Unexpected cat ownership problem; when my body clock get screwed, I don’t just have the difficulty of getting mine back again, but I have to do the same with my cat as he aligns himself with my sleep patterns. 🙄 #CrazyCatLady #CatProblems

If you love nature and space documentaries DO NOT watch “our universe” on Netflix narrated by Morgan freeman. It’s trying to be both a nature AND a space docu and it’s a confusing and infuriating mish mash that pulls you back and forward and leaves you feeling bewildered. ❌

The internet says peanuts are not nuts but actually legumes.

@MisterJamesW Sigh. One day!

@FreyaFeral Think You should’ve included ‘Underneath the bed’ too #CuckeryFuckery

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

Freya, work is not your personal pick up zone, no matter how fit they are. Focus on the job and keep it in your pants. Tsk. Yeah but yeah but yeah but….

Out of everything in The Crown to date, the only thing I find implausible is that (the then Prince) Charles ever breakdanced on a dance floor with under privileged teenagers.

Public argument with my mums husband in a restaurant in front of the waiter. Me: Why don’t you want to pay a tip? You’re so tight! Him: I’m not tight, I just spent £3k on a cruise! And you STILL won’t give a fiver to a 20 year old on minimum wage?!?! (Under breath 𝑐𝑢𝑛𝑡 )

Elon musk can buy a spaceship but he can’t buy common sense. 😂😂😂 Turns out my mum was right, money can’t buy you everything.

I actually think I’d do a better job at running twitter and I have ZERO experience

This new soap opera called Twitter is better than all the reality tv I’ve ever seen. 🍿

Note to self: don’t overshare about your dad’s deceased body laying unfound for a week when you’re getting changed and shouting the story from another room. NO, IT WAS A PULMONARY EMBOLISM Isn’t the best ending to a bdsm session.

Who needs boyfriends. I have fuck buddies on speed dial for sex, I have slaves for chores and I have friends for emotional intimacy. << ex serial monogamist

I’m changing my bumble profile to “hot and hard work”