FunctionallyDead

the disciples after Jesus was resurrected and then walked on water:

The eternal question

Christopher Walken says Bugs Bunny is one of his favorite actors. He told Ben Stiller that "A lot of times I’ve played roles as if I was Bugs Bunny... but nobody knew"

Hi all- on a serious note, please find our list of effective, verified ways you can contribute to Gaza at the end of our latest issue. Especially following the heinous attacks of the last 48 hours, it’s vital now more than ever to keep #AllEyesOnRafah From the River to the Sea 🇵🇸

Remember what the Bible says: “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a working class person who doesn’t give money to their rich family to enter the kingdom of heaven”! By Caroline Horowitz

Nice dude!! You have the DSM in SHAMBLES! And think of how much you’ll save without all those pesky SSRI prescriptions. Written by Simon Bower

We’re ushering in Pride month early to celebrate *drumroll please* THIS FUCKING GUY!!!! Check out @air_durnell’s profile on the community’s most heroic ally and donate to the fund to get a statue made in his honor in our bio!

Nonetheless, this is still hard-hitting and respectable journalism we’re conducting over here. You can mail Ned Arnold’s Pulitzer Prize to our Functionally Dead offices.

If the enemy of our enemy is our friend, then I guess we have a lot more in common with the teen dance app than we thought. By Brady O’Callahan

We call that Robberygate baby! No resigning from office this time around. By Jennifer Donovan.

WOW!! Did you manifest a deal this good? Or did one of our devices listen to you explain that this is exactly what you were looking for and curate it your algorithms to bring it to you? #surveillancestate 🥰 by guest contributor Daniel Morris.

Oops!! Our mistake! Check out the latest piece from our own Diana Kolsky about this graceful learning moment.

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, so we’ll let Mitch Russell break it to you all how mid our impending doom is looking…

Take notes from @audreynotfunny on how to do activism with razor-sharp precision. Bronson has declined to comment.

(This is our way of subliminally trying to get you to click the link in our bio and check out our Patreon…)

Whoa! Look out Tribeca Film Fest! We’ve got the funkiest fresh pages from none other than Michael Rapaport’s screenplay. Agents, Managers, Beastie Boys enthusiasts- give us a read and some funding! Written by @TheMatthewCohen

And on a more serious note, please check out our guide on where/how to help with engagement and resources for Palestine. Yours in Solidarity, the FD Team xx

Pretend you didn’t see us tweet this the other day! EDIT: NOW our zine is fully up and at ‘em and ready to go. Like we said, this is our existential despair-fueled issue yet. Give us a read, shout, or social media validation if you’re feeling generous.

Breaking through the Post-Oscars discourse and Daylight Savings brain fog to tell you to SUBMIT TO OUR NEXT MF ZINE!! Theme is TBD, pay is the same, show us what ya got.

Us giving out our zines on Christmas like