Funny Tweets

Me - "No, I don't feel like going" Friend - "But your parents will really hate it if you go" Me - "I'M IN!!!"

What does a blonde and good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

When you're scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep...

I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it.

\(^_^)/ RT if yay is your current emotion

Don't let summer be a bummer! Go out and enjoy the sunshine.

Screw my alarm system. I've seen "Home Alone"... I know what to do...

That smart kid that will never let you cheat on his paper... Retweet if you know a kid like this!

RIP Lebron James, sources say he choked in Game 6

People say you can't live without love... I think oxygen is a little more important.

Taking a shower: 2 minutes of washing your hair and body... 28 minutes of thinking how cool it would be to be a superhero...

Headphones on means please don't talk to me biznitch.

I'm the ultimate couch potato, sitting on the sofa while snacking on chips and fries.

You only live Spring Break 2015 once so YOLO

Watching tv, phone rings, see who's calling, continue watching tv

FYI - It's never too late to get on Santa's nice list

RT for the freakin' Friday!

I'm currently stuck between idk & idc

Mentally I am ready for Christmas. Financially I am not ready for Christmas

Why do we call it "A word to the wise"? I thought we were trying to help out the stupid...