Barbs

The older I get, the more I just want peace and quiet

9/10 times young people will just latch themselves on to something "exciting & edgy" and base their entire identity off of it. Eventually, most grow up and realize they were just embarrassingly desperate for...something.

When I was younger, I used to think it would be better if I had a lot of friends. Now I'm older and realize it's better to have a few "right" friends.

I'm not swayed by people if they are "nice" to me And swayed by confirmed repeated patterns of behavior over a long period of time

I. Am. So. Sick. Of. Artists. Sampling. Other. People's. Music. Holy. Shit. Nobody. Can. Do. Anything. Original. Anymore.

Life is so much easier and better when you just get all the stupid awkward stuff out of the way as soon as possible at the beginning.

Life tip: Just be honest if you don't know something. It's way better than pretending and getting caught.

I finally tried Dubai chocolate. It’s good. …not “$16 for a single bar” good -but good.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but at this point if a bunch of weird stuff ended up being true all along I would not be shocked like, at all

Literally just binged all the final season of Squid game. Yes all 6 1-hour long episodes- in my couch. Eating grilled cheese and pizza. So worth it

I seriously wish Chris Farley was still alive. Gaaahhhh that guy was a comedic genius. Gone too soon.

They should make a new boy band but with one random ass fat bald guy in the group.

$24 - Why are Crocs so expensive now? Aren’t they supposed to be the “dumass” shoe that were invented as a joke?

Yeah, I would totally survive a zombie apocalypse

Actually, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure key and Peele did a skit on this already

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years of living in LA, it’s that women- DO NOT even TRY to start a fight with a gay guy. They absolutely will not hold back, have no chivalry towards you and you will not win.

@NATERERUN It’s like watching two people, trying to see who can “be the bigger oppressed person”

This Asian gay boy & black lady got into it bad on the NYC train, who side y’all on? 😭

@Crixxsten My God, people are terrible at math in the comments

Which one?

So… Yeah. Without even realizing it, I made the biggest rookie mistake of all. -Eating spicy food and drinking coffee at the same time

I have a black uncle, a half Russian cousin and I'm the half Korean odd sheep of a huge Italian family of like 200 members and I never even met an entire branch of my mom's side. Man. I really am Mr worldwide.