Gallagher_91

“Mr Glazer, you’ve travelled here today with the intention of meeting a 13-year-old-girl”.

Stop guessing ages! You're as young as you feel!

Football had a monopoly on the single greatest moment of elation that existed in sport...and got rid of it in pursuit of a perfection that doesn't exist. Genuinely so shite

Stolen bike smashes into two cars in Bradford before rider runs into a bollard Officers on patrol spotted a suspected stolen motorbike being ridden by a male near Killinghall Road just after 5pm yesterday. The rider lost control and the bike collided with an Audi A5 and a Vauxhall Corsa in the same road. No serious injuries were reported. The bike was confirmed stolen, and a 17-year-old male was arrested at the scene on suspicion of dangerous driving. Enquiries continue. m.facebook.com/story.php?stor…

'I didn't play, it was them!' Emmanuel Emegha's attempts to settle the Strasbourg Ultras after they were dumped out of the Conference League to Rayo Vallecano don't exactly go according to plan.

Elliot Anderson will go to City for £45m + add ons. Everyone will proclaim how City are excellent at transfers. 20 years later we'll find out that City siphoned funds through intermediaries to make up the rest of the fee.

First day at JPMorgan. Boss took me out for lunch! Super friendly, great vibes. Think I’m absolutely crushing it so far… only weird thing is I’ve had like 7 random boners today, must be the finance adrenaline.

Palace's win an inevitable aberration, then. Can't be denied that Southampton-Leeds United would have been quite an event with so much meaning to it Instead the final again between two of football's modern powers, one that was recently punished for breaching Premier League rules, the other still the subject of an investigation that now stretches back over seven years - the club insist on their innocence.

18 straight years of financial doping & 115+ charges pending, spanning more than half of the history of the Premier League (52.9%). Never been done before. History stained & disgraced. Nobody respects City & they know it. A rap sheet that far outweighs their 'achievements', which no amount of money will ever wash away. Congratulations on losing the last two FA Cup Finals though.

Manchester City fans at Wembley today. #MCFC

"Not many journalists here, right? The game looks like it's not important. But the good ones are here, right?"👀 "Like your support!" 🤣 Great banter between Pep Guardiola and the journalists!😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

‘There’s no lower body contact’ he says right as his foot scrapes down the back of Amad’s leg. Honestly what’s the point😂😂

*to the tune of eleanor rigby* anthony taylor, goes to the screen to confirm what he’s seen over there, he has no hair

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Are you a fresher that has a gullible parent? Email me scott.mills@bbc.co.uk now with your name and phone number. May call you back

A nice evening. Had some sausage and now going home

My finger is throbbing

Pork cylinders