Garrett Thompson

The internet at my home really loves it when we have 6 zoom calls going on at the same time all day long 😅.. not to mention my youngest brother streaming fortnite in the basement 😂

Don’t waste all your ultra balls on worthless Magikarps.. you’ll find a shiny Gyarados one day!

Ngl.. i woke up and opened insta, half asleep and I thought my Shit was broken, so I closed it and reloaded it like 4 times 😅

Tis’ the season for weed eating around sheds and snakes popping out and your initial reaction is to chop that bitch up

I need a haircut. Who’s still cutting?😂

If someone tells me to put corn in my tea one more time... 🤬

Yes “social distancing” please everyone come to the only open place that sells guns and ammunition at the same time. PLEASE buy them all so that you can shoot someone if they try and rob your toilet paper.

Bama has the most pretty girls w cute ass accents that is all I have to say.

The new girl at work hit my car on her first day. It’s all good tho bc I got her number 😏.. HER INSURANCE NUMBER 👊🏻👊🏻

@_drewselders_ This tweet hits hard

If I’m paying for a class, why do I have an attendance policy enforced by someone else?!?!?😡😡🤬🤬🤬😡😡

You ever have a super realistic dream and then it actually messes w/ your head for a few days?

Wonder who wrote the script for that game

You know your friends are sending you some fucked up tiktoks when you go to view them and they have all been taken down 😂

Hope all you sorority gals make it through tryouts!

It’s hard to believe anyone can have a damn baby but you have to have a license to fish

@styledbyrati I threw a full sized, half full Gatorade out the 3rd floor window during math class and let a police officer question half the class individually before confessing.

What's the dumbest thing you ever got in trouble for at school?

Anonymous friend checking out a girl on insta: *reads her bio* *bio says John 3:16* Anonymous friend: “ah damn she’s got a boyfriend named John since 3/16”

Yeah I’m over this 2020 bullshit. 2021 Is gonna be my year tho frfr

@KylePlantEmoji Smh

"what's wrong with Garrett" Nothing is wrong with Garrett. Nothing is wrong with a 2012 Honda Civic. But it's not legendary and mythical

White dudes will be like "there he is, the man, the myth, the legend!" And it's just Garrett

Being able to see who has unfollowed or blocked you or deleted your comments has to be the most entertaining thing