Gary Oak

I WAS A GYM LEADER ONCE, BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS A DICK MOVE TO SCATTER BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE AND HAVE A STRICT NO SHOES POLICY.

THE SECRET TO BECOMING A MASTER AT ANYTHING IN LIFE IS SHOWING UP ON FULL HEALTH WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS HEAVILY WOUNDED.

IT'S BANG YOUR FAVOURITE POKEMON WEEK I CHOOSE YOU LAPRAS! LAAAAAAAAPRAAAAAS! OH YOU SEXY BLUE SEA-BITCH GODDAMN SAIL ME TO CINNABAR ISLAND

SHOULDA FIRST-PICKED LIKE ME BRO - SQUIRTLE'S LIKE A WALKING BIDET - HE COMES OUT HYPED FOR A BATTLE THEN I TELL HIM TO WASH MY SACK & CRACK

HEY ASH DID YOU PICK PIKACHU SO THAT WALKING DEFIBRILLATOR COULD SHOCK YOU BACK TO LIFE WHEN YOUR SHITTY HEART GIVES OUT AFTER EVERY BATTLE?

WTF @ KIDS GOING AROUND SAYING SHIT LIKE “ESCALATORS ARE LIKE THE RARE CANDY OF STAIRS”

AFTER BREAKING LT. SURGE’S SPIRIT, I LIKE TO STOP BY HIS GYM AND MAKE HIS ELECTRIC TYPES CHARGE MY PHONE. SOMETIMES I TOSS HIM A QUARTER.

THIS WEEKS EPISODE OF POKEMON: MISTY FINALLY GETS HER BIKE. #NEVERFUCKINGHAPPENED

HEY ASHY BOY, I GUESS PALLET TOWN NEEDS ONE TRAINER WHO ISN'T A TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT TO THE ACT OF BIRTH ITSELF

HEY ASH! WHEN YOU DIE I'M GONNA FART IN YOUR COFFIN AND SHUT IT- SO YOU CAN SMELL ME LATER, FOREVER <3<3<3 #SMELLYA

HEY KID! YEAH, YOU, COOLTRAINER WITH THE BUTTERFREE,.. I KNOW A COOL PLACE TO HIDE A DEAD BUTTERFREE.

NEW GEN POKÉMON LEAKED - THE UNEVOLVED FORM OF GASTLY-"RICK GASTLY". IT LEARNS FOUR MOVES - RUN AROUND, LET DOWN, GIVE UP, DESERT LOVED ONE.

EITHER WAY I GOT SOME PRETTY DOPE PICS

I SENT A DRAGONITE TO SPY ON GRAMPS AND TAKE PICTURES OF HIM BANGING ASH'S MOM, BUT HE SMASHED THROUGH THE BEDROOM WALL AND KILLED ASH'S MOM

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GUY WHO DATED A NURSE JOY? WHEN THEY BROKE UP HE WENT INSANE AFTER EVERY NURSE HE MET ACTED LIKE THEY NEVER DATED.

SO THEN THE THEY DO THE ROCK-COCK FOR LIKE 7 HOURS AND A GRAVELER GOES 'WAIT, WHOSE COCK ARE WE?" AND THIS MACHAMP SHOWS UP AND SAYS "MINE"

K SO THEN THE ONYX SAYS TO THE TWO GRAVELERS, "STAND AT MY TAIL AND I'LL LIE DOWN AND WE'LL BE A MASSIVE ROCK-COCK"

BEEN SPENDIN' MOST MY LIFE, LIVIN' IN A CAVE WITH OMANYTE

MINISTER FOR PLAYERS GARY OAK REFUSED TO COMMENT ON "RATIGATE"-ALLEGATIONS THAT HE FLUSHED HIS LOSER RATICATE DOWN AN S.S ANNE TOILET.

I KILLED CUBONE'S MOM. GARY OAK - TRAUMATISING A WHOLE SPECIES OF POKÉMON FOR LIFE.