Tanner Geren

We can all agree that the fully-nude, pre-shower dump is one of the finer things in life.

@Roku parents don’t need an Apple TV button we need an @OfficialBlueyTV button

Dodge Ram owners are the BMW drivers of trucks.

I know it’s been said before, but there is no other more impressive organizational feat than @ChickfilA drive thru at lunch rush.

Golden Oreos are so much more superior. And if you can’t accept that, grow up.

Say what you want about @HarborFreight quality, I could spend 3-5 business days looking around in there.

My wife just said: “two 1/2 cups makes a 1/4 cup right?” And I just don’t know what to think.

Got cut off by a Tesla driver on the way to work. Prepared to stare them down as I passed them, but the Tesla was driving itself. So I’m not sure who to be mad at, I guess @elonmusk

@Kyle_Derringer I require more

At what point in adulthood do they teach you the difference between Jam, jelly, and preserves? Cause I would like to know.

Nobody: Not a single soul: Snapchat notification: “this random person you don’t know is on @Snapchat”

There have been 2,384 episodes of family feud. Each episode uses 5 questions. Each question is answered by 100 respondents. That’s 1,192,000 responses. And I ain’t been asked a single time…

My wife just referred to Target as, “a buffet for human trafficking.”

Typing in all caps will really humble you and your spelling ability.

I just passed 13 consecutive Amazon delivery trucks. Bezos is mobilizing his Amazon Army to neutralize FedEx and UPS. They strike at dawn tomorrow.

@ChicagoNic @Cubs A hotdog that actually has a hotdog in it.

What’s better than this? @Cubs

I can truly appreciate the beauty and art form of a carefully crafted sandwich.

If you have ever received a package in the mail and kept the box because, “it’s a nice box,” then you might be from the Midwest.

@TwoMenAndATruck I know I saw. What do you have to say for yourselves?

@GerenTanner Are you sure, Tanner?

Just saw a “Two Men and a Truck” moving company truck drive by with 3 Men in it. Life it a lie. We are living in a simulation.