Rakeem “Doesn’t Celebrate” Christmas, M.D.

My boy just told me the girl he’s been fucking got her nipples pierced. Cheers brother. #expand #jealous

The rule is 5 drinks a day for the last 18 days of the last semester of senior year. I’m on day 14 and it might be my favorite day yet. Runner up in the beer Olympics and woke up next to the ex. Vibes are high Gay shots for dinner.

Thinking about pineapplebrat during peak Snapchat. Brought me to a happy place I haven’t been to in a while

What the fuck is going on here

@wwwdotsaliba Me and Fugazi bout to run yall @DerekNotJeter

Friends r about to run beer Olympics tomorrow. I got the roommate as first pick we’re about to be moving different tomorrow. Comp got no chance

@BudFosterBurner Why is there not a dislike button. All traces of this on the internet are supposed to be deleted

@GoCuse2013 jorts tmr

Ex said she’s “ not allowed” to go home w me tn. Sounds like an invitation to me

Waiting in line for the bathroom at the bar and I swear to god the guy in front of me pissed his pants. We all saw it coming out of his shorts. Brother it is time to LEAVE. #shrink

Phone’s at 13% #timetoblackout #letsbeanissue

Boy are these guys lucky I don’t have a stone rn. #watchout

Better than sex

@DerekNotJeter Maybe we start with bowling?

Found myself in uncharted territory. I’m gonna need some help with this one boys #LANK

I like my coffee how I like my women. Black and stepping on my balls.

@BudFosterBurner and @DerekNotJeter asked me if I wanted a threesome tn? I feel like saying yes. Is that the move? #LANK

It’s 10:03. could still buy womps at the smoke shop. Part of me wants to be there, but I’d be lying to myself

Slap me in the nuts just so I can feel something. Please.

Overshot the pocket tn. She’ll spin back tho dw

People think drinks and beers are the same thing. Am I crazy. #LANK

@notAnasMahmoud No no you are mistaken, I am not on the pussy’s side here, they are definitely being gay

@GoCuse2013 Sounds like something a pussy would say Rakeem

There’s a difference between being a pussy and being responsible