Goat User Stories

As a goat, I want to implement a RESTful interface

As a senior caprine engineer, I want production access to the fence latch, so that we can accelerate outbound deployment velocity.

As a goat who respects feedback, I want to gently push limits so that assumptions may be surfaced early.

As a remote-work goat I want casual access to the countertop grahams so that I may maintain morale throughout the afternoon.

As a leadership goat, I want key stakeholders arriving with dramatically reduced ear capacity so that difficult feedback remains manageable.

As a governance goat, I want to establish a cross-functional partnership with the scream bird so that blockers may be surfaced early.

As an infrastructure goat, I want nobody touching the legacy truck wiring so that production may continue shambling forward, close to the metal.

As a government goat, I want to dispatch my weekly justification email so that I can prove I'm the GOAT and not merely a scapegoat.

Most of the full text from screenshot is in alt text! Got a bit cut-off, but DM me your literary GOAT submissions. The Chief Editorial Goat reserves the right not to post submissions for any reason.

As a goat I want you to help me revert, if needed so that I can deploy with impunity.

As a goat [tweeter] I wanted to return to this account soon so that I could heal from losing my [human] mom recently. To bring back joy with our shared love for goats in tech. If Twitter doesn't die, I'll meet you back at the barn. Thank you, @mmrobins @JodyJunebug_64 @lgiles.

Hot day, hot song. The goats and I are feeling Heated, @Beyonce. Loving this track. #GoatSongs #Renaissance

As a goat I want to see eye to eye with my colleagues so that we aren't being a couple of asses.

As a goat I want to understand new things so that I don't complain about it so vocally. And so that I don't get written up for complaining about things so vocally.

As a goat I want to work in the cold again so that I can be cozy and this darn sun will stop trying to melt me.

As a goat I want to pair with goats at my level and also with more experienced goats so that I can make a big impact for my barn.

As a goat I want to be paid based on my performance so that I don't have any reason to be jealous of my colleagues just because they live on a (not all that much) higher cost of living farm.

As a goat I want to get all of us on the same page regarding best coding practices so that we can stop reorganizing hay and files every other month.

As a goat I want to solve my cacheing problem so that I have more balanced assets.

As a goat I want to walk a mile or so in my newest developers' shoes so that neither of us get blisters.