Garblin

Medallion's humming... that can only mean one thing! It's time to announce The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Songs of the Past! ⚔️ This brand new expansion for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt will take you to the Path with Geralt of Rivia once more. It’s being co-developed with @Fools_Theory and is coming to PC, Xbox Series X|S, and PlayStation 5 in 2027. Stay tuned for more information in late summer. ⏰

Put my car on we buy any car 2 weeks ago and every day they email saying "FINAL VALUATION!!! WE'VE ADDED £75 TO THE PURCHASE PRICE!!! FINAL OFFER!!!" And then it goes up again the next day, they play chicken on how desperate you are

Picked actually the worst day to put the shed up, I am a pink crisp

Asked for a double rum and coke and the lady genuinely put 200ml of rum in, maybe a shot of coke?? Im fucked

Seasick Steve playing in July, entering my country era I fear

@Brewguey Next time they do an answer only Americans would know I am going to blow my shit smoove off

@GoblimSlime Hate it when they pull that wordy bullshit

I got it, but the purple for Connections today is BULLSHIT in my humble opinion

Hellooo England! My näyme is Tobias Forge, and I want you to buy my fjüking snowglobe for 55 quid! Down from 80!! Mäyke some fjüking nooise!!!

i gotta start remembering to check what shirt im wearing before i show up to work lol

I'm goated *pluck* I'm scroted *pluck* I'm goated *pluck* I'm scroted *pluck*

100% certified based

Couldnt tweet so reinstalled Twitter, currently labelled as X, and all my drafts have gone Fuck you @elonmusk

Pack of Dogs by John Littleboy

Man in the tube kept flashing a union jack shirt atcpeople just going "united kingdom. United kingdom" then started with "fuck palestine" last thing I heard was "please talk to me"

pov: you’re a scrumptious ant, or perhaps a delectable termite

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer tells Parliament he is a 'gooner'

Spotify is removing songs from my playlist man, then it recommends them back to me like "this isnt in any of your playlists" whats up with that

Ye olde backwards baseball cap

This doesn't apply to the multi-coloured plastic goods I like

I think someone should just kill whoever starts the next multi-coloured plastic trend Can you still tweet things with kill in