Officially retiring as a cs player ❤️
(To pursue coaching👀)
This is a pretty emotional post for me to write. Being a CS player has been a huge part of me since I was 12 years old. I loved playing the game, loved competing, and loved the experience of being in a team chasing a common goal everyday. Ever since I opened the game for the first time I knew it was something I wanted to dedicate myself to, and very early on, I made it my dream and my goal to become a professional player. So there I sat, the last 10 years, playing 8+ hours everyday chasing my dream. And just as I reached a position, where I could make a living of playing the game, my desire for playing faded completely. I guess life is funny like that. Those who know me, know that these past 6 months i havent really been enjoying playing the game. It started to feel tedious and repetitive, and the fun wasn't there for me. I simply don’t anymore have the passion needed to put in the hours I think it takes to become a better player. I always promised myself that the day I wake up and realise I'm no longer willing to give 100%, is the day that I stop. That day is today. Could I have pushed myself further, probably yes, but that's no longer what I desire. It wasn’t the career I dreamt of, but one I'm proud of and grateful for nonetheless. I think 12 year old Bertil would still find it pretty cool i made it this far.
So what’s next?
I’ve always known that one day I'm gonna transition into a coaching role. My attributes in the game have always pointed in that direction, and I'm sure it’s something I can become great at if I put my mind to it. I probably didn’t expect it to happen this early in my life, but it feels right, and it ignites a spark, when I visualise my future as a coach. So that’s what im going to pursue.
I want to end this post by thanking everyone I’ve met, played with or against for these past years. It’s been a fun ride so far, and I met a lot of people through this game who I consider close friends today. Past teammates, coaches, friends, and everyone in between - thank you for the journey so far. See you on the server (I’m gonna cook u as a coach) ❤️