Grobian

Mirror neurons are the part of your brain that’s says “that’s a mirror” when you look in a mirror. They came about so early hominids didn’t get a fright when they looked in ponds

I was the first person to ever play gameboy while sitting on the toilet.

What I have now seen, I realise, was an ape shouting uselessly. What I have now heard, I realise, was an ape shouting uselessly.

They are developing a new kind of club to dispatch me humanely with

@tildeltal Computer, generate Tildelta Flow

ai cant do this. and indeed why would we want it to

under a Regime of Wise Principles, every home with a "man-cave" or a "walk-in closet" will be flattened to make way for agricultural use

there are so many pasta shapes to memorise, I don't have time for it

Have you seen this? Have you heard this? Young ones are spending too much time on their phones and are speaking like Yanquis. We need to restructure the economy to generate enough soft-power to cause Americans to develop a Scottish affect, so I can stop being annoyed.

I'm not built for sprinting. I'm built for harvesting potatoes for hours and hours and hours and hours - industrialisation has made me a physiological exile.

sitting at the computer with the same expression you'd wear to a commute, but my heart is full of joy

laughing my head off at a formulaic joke format, that some devilish little poster has but their own spin on.

drinking a pint of milk

Ah The Imperial Capital? Many know it as The Great City of White Marble in the Valley of the World. Yes, I am familiar with it...

They've built a new plaza out of gleaming white marble in The Imperial Capital, called Gleaming Star-Treasure of the Heart Square. It's so beautiful, I can't do it justice.

Wise guy civilisation

Chart consulting civilisation

I think I'll have the... Pasta speciale di qualità superiore al forno, grazie

you're giving me a lift, thanks for that. I insist on sitting in the back seat directly behind you so I can chew on the head rest. "What are you doing?" you ask. I grab the wheel

'm hoping to get an exclusive discount on the latest deals

need someone to explain something carefully to me while I'm looking at pictures on my phone