H. A. Titus is on hiatus

In the dead of a harsh winter, a woman who breaks magic is offered a choice by the Holly King... open.substack.com/pub/hatitus/p/…

Congrats to Doug Wilson and his ilk for making me despise something more than I despise politics, therefore ensuring I will continue to vote for the rest of my life.

Finding Fantasy Reads Podcast - Epic Fantasy Audiobooks and an Audible Subscription Giveaway #fantasybookgiveaway #winfantasyaudiobooks findingfantasyreads.com/giveaway/?ksre…

“Every time we affirm how special our children are to us for being themselves, we’re helping them grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world’s people.”

@MaryDeMuth I agree wholeheartedly with this. I burnt out badly 3 years ago trying to do all the social media stuff I was told to do. Today I’m rarely on social media. I’m still trying to figure out HOW to market my work without being on social media, but I have to, for my own health

Dear Christian Publishing Industry, here are my thoughts about the conundrum of building a platform. marydemuthliterary.com/brokenplatform/

Now look…I know lots of big families. Some are dysfunctional. Some are functional. Probably about the same ratio as “normal” sized families. But y’all gotta stop this nonsense about big families. Just let people be and have as many kids or as few kids as they want w/o comment.

They were smart with their money so their kids got a good education, w/ outside co-ops and activities, and yes, they even got to go on family vacations every few years. In short, they’re like any other functional family in America.

You know what really bothers me is when I see people hating on large families and claiming that the kids can’t possibly be raised well. Y’all, just because your only reference for a large family is the Duggars doesn’t mean you know anything.

🤣 Bold to assume I’m already not problematic in a multitude of ways 🤣

@DuckieLouise Whereas someone who can quote the verse, AND takes into account historical/passage context, and can make an actual argument that addresses what someone said rather than just shutting them down…is actually doing the work. They’re the folks to listen to.

@DuckieLouise In my experience, having been in both incredibly toxic and incredibly amazing faith communities in my life… Anyone who says “plain Word of God” but can’t quote the verse or give an argument past “the Bible says so!” is just using Scripture to veneer their opinion

When people say “plain word of God” I have started to feel suspect that they are doing bad/uninformed exegesis. 🫣

The fun part of after-Christmas festivities: punching out all the bits & bobs for new board games. I’ve promised Eldest Son we would play through a couple of these this afternoon so he can teach his friends at our church NYE game night tonight

@DuckieLouise Yup, absolutely meant authoritarian. Oops. That’s what I get for trying to comment on things before I’ve fully woken up for the day (Aka before noon lol)

@HATitusWriting People lose their minds when I say things like this! I think you meant to say authoritarian 💜? Gentle and authoritative work nicely together.

The longer I have kids and the more I read about history and attachment and human psychology and child development etc etc the more solidly convinced I am that children don’t need punishment. They certainly don’t need to be manipulated. They don’t need to be guilted. They need connection and kindness and guidance. Every day I wake up longing more and more to just fill my kids childhoods with laughter and fun. The hard stuff is inevitable. We better STAY aiming at joy. They’re great kids already 🤷🏻‍♀️. Their character is 10/10. If they’re doing something out of character, I ought just remind them who they are. And who they are is funny and smart and creative and caring and strong and golden hearted.

@WinsomeWonder @DuckieLouise Besides this, teaching gentleness first is always appropriate. Violence is a last resort. The women I’ve heard in my personal circles worried over “taking the wildness out” are generally raising the kids who are bullying my kids, so I’m less concerned about that tbh

@WinsomeWonder @DuckieLouise Kids who are 2 don’t have the logical ability to figure out when it’s appropriate to hit & when it isn’t. My kids have had issues with bullying & I’ve taught them when it’s appropriate to hit back & when it isn’t. But they’re 7 & 10. Their logic centers are mature enough for it

An anecdote to consider. I’m not saying this works for everyone. Just a little true story: When my son was 2ish and he occasionally tried out hitting, I would sit on the floor in front of him and take his sweet little toddler hands and say “wait a minute buddy, are these rough hands or gentle hands?” And he would look confused because he was 2ish 😂 And I would say “they are gentle hands! You have gentle hands, so be gentle with them.” And I would kiss his hands and send him on his way. Yes, sometimes I did need to remove him from the sitch or whatever - and I’m not saying this “worked” on the first try. But I communicated to him about who he was. He’s a gentle, sweet boy, and I told him so. He hasn’t hit anyone since he was 2 😂💜. We have the privilege to narrate our kids lives to them. They find themselves in the story we tell. Guess we better make it a good one.

@DuckieLouise Yet another step towards me wondering if I actually have ADHD. My husband for years has tried to suggest I just “do the important stuff” and try rewards, and I TRY, but it’s like my brain is a separate thing going “lol nope”. I can’t force myself into any form of self-discipline

Adhders struggle to do things that are boring to us. Even if we desperately want to get it done. “Okay lol that’s everyone” Not in the same way. Here’s the difference: People with neurotypical brains are motivated by ⭐️importance⭐️, and ⭐️rewards⭐️ People with adhd are simply not. At least SUPER inconsistently. Sometimes importance steals our motivation by paralyzing us. The more important it is to us, the harder it can be to do it. Rewards are nice and we are very happy to receive them, like anyone, but we aren’t motivated by them. We are MOTIVATED by 🔥interest.🔥 It is even accurate to say that we have interest-based nervous systems.

@DuckieLouise I thank God (sincerely) that my MIL insisted her boys learn to clean, cook, and take care of kids as well as her girls did, and that my husband is just as good as I am at upkeeping our house. (better, in some ways.)

@DuckieLouise The divorces are happening because women are realizing they married man-babies who refuse to lift a finger unless she constantly nags at them. Nagging isn't fun for anyone--not the person doing it, not the person having it thrown at them.

Correlation ≠ causation. But anyway: now do marriages where they figure out how to hire a house keeper 🥰