Hackney Council

.@CrystalMcClory too pricey. Plan is to let entire road keep subsiding until it's even again.

.@CrystalMcClory Do you have any idea how much paint we'd need to fill all the potholes?

.@ben_knight80 better luck next time lol

@Chrisml86 Thank you for your tweet. Loading bays are designated instant-fine areas. It's one of our main revenue streams.

.@rena_ribena21 Please take a ticket. You are 285th in line to receive a response to your tweet.

.@E8_Plumber you got off lightly, 3 seconds should be 3 fines

.@metrolondon @WeAreOohFondue You need to come in between 9am-5pm and take a ticket, we have a backlog of tweets to respond to before yours.

@WeAreOohFondue @metrolondon Unlicensed cheese melting is Edam serious offence. I suggest you get your Stilton and walk over to our office.

.@moonthug don't know sorry lol! I emailed your card security number to Gary in IT to see if he knows anything.

.@metrolondon Please park in Hackney Vehicle Pound - rates start at £40/day, minimum £265. Just leave vehicle anywhere for free collection.

@metrolondon @TheFoxReformed sorry I am on my break and Chantelle is sick today innit, please phone again 2moro

.@nonjob1 the 'social media manager' job is well good pay lol

.@cliowood maybe you should like not park so bad then yeah

.@Giboneystzuz Thank you for your sex-chat request. We will endeavor to respond to you in a saucy manner within 28 working days.

.@aubrey_wade @jometsonscott Apologies for those weeds, we intend to put a car-park there instead so please bear with us.

.@emmaholland70 Thanks for your message. Please let us know your neighbour's address, we'll ask them to tune into Radio 3 instead.

Convicted of running an organised crime syndicate? You may qualify for our senior management program! Apply now at hackney.gov.uk.

Got a car? You owe us £130 (reduced to £65 if paid within 14 days). Not got a car? You owe us £130 (reduced to £65 if paid within 14 days).

Got a parking ticket? What it is yeah is dat you can't park there though. #hackneyparking

Got bulky household items for collection? Fill out our online form (hackney.gov.uk/ew-household-w…) and we'll dump them in neighbouring Walthamstow.