The Halfway Post

BREAKING: A reporter just asked Mike Johnson for the first time at a press conference, “Why should we even ask you any questions today when you never read or hear about anything anyway?”

@Liteworker1111 Lol Ivanka and Jared get cooked alive and eaten 🤷‍♀️

@HalfwayPost It's gonna be like discovering a long lost tribe of cannibals. They might not wanna go ashore and fafo.

BREAKING: Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are reportedly worried the Albanian people will never let them set foot on their island ever again.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly furious the Reflecting Pool contractors drained it during the day so everyone can see the tire tracks from when his motorcade drove over it before the sealant was totally cured, and now everyone knows he's been lying for weeks about vandals.

@HollyKurzman Todd Blanche should end up penniless on the street asking to blow random men for their pocket change.

@HalfwayPost Increase the daily amount by 50% after each 7 days he refuses to comply. Week 2 daily fine = $7,500, etc.

BREAKING: A petition calling for federal courts to fine Todd Blanche $5,000 for every day he continues to flagrantly ignore court orders and explicit Congressional laws demanding he release the Epstein Files just reached 30 million signatures.

@hammondst412 Wow, a real life pedophile protector right here in my comments!

@HalfwayPost So sick of hearing Epstein!!!

BREAKING: Several officials at the New York Bar Association are reportedly demanding the association revoke Todd Blanche's law license unless he finally releases all the Epstein Files he was legally required to release months ago.

@drolkrad_ehT 🥰

@HalfwayPost Since the beginning. 😀

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@jabebi1 🫡

@HalfwayPost Always a bright spot on my feed. Keep up the good work.

BREAKING: Officials at the NYC Bar Association say it’s difficult to see how they can let Todd Blanche have a law license while he’s flagrantly refusing to comply with court orders and Congressional laws stating he must release the Epstein Files.

@Vizsla51 @SkyborneLLC

@HalfwayPost @SkyborneLLC Was it to bulbous for you? I mean when it got shoved in your rectum? Over 77 million voted for TRUMP. Get good lube! phuckk you 🖕 MAGA

BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly “apocalyptically angry” that everyone is calling the diarrhea epidemic “Trumporrhea.”

@LAURAAN93496839 @SkyborneLLC You're helping entrench the cliche that conservatives are bad at comedy.

@HalfwayPost @SkyborneLLC WE ACTUALLY CALL IT THE demoDIARRHEA

@crop_duster420 Yep.. it turns men's penis tips orange

I guess we're saving "Donorrehea" for the STD we name after him?

@CarmineWilding Donorrhea is the name of the STD that got named after Trump 😜

Donorrhea was right there!!!

BREAKING: Todd Blanche is reportedly worried that covering up the most notorious pedophile sex-trafficking ring in US history, lying about the evidence, and facilitating Trump’s theft of billions of tax dollars will be hard to explain in his upcoming state bar ethics review.

@FavazzoDom63444 Octogenarian love is love!

@HalfwayPost That image even creeps me out

BREAKING: Political insiders claim Mitch McConnell's failing health has put a damper on the D.C. swinger scene because McConnell's octogenarian sex parties in his basement "f*ck dungeon" were the "hottest orgies in town."

@490lydecker I've heard Mitch likes "egg play"

@HalfwayPost He’s been brain dead for years…FYI