Hammancheez

New Twitter 2.0 logo just dropped

Me licking the last crumbs out of the pringles can

Makes u think

BREAKING : Secretary of Defense to require taking 2 shots and smoke an unfiltered marlboro before taking army fitness test to “weed out pussies”

Imagine being the former leader of a nuclear power permanent UN Security Council member state being reduced to dressing like a MAGA pta mom begging for a ben shapiro retweet

Jimmy Carter just faked his death so he can practice for the big superbowl half time reveal

Can’t wait for the Donald Trump truth social post calling Jimmy Carter a hater and loser

BREAKING : #SantaClaus detected above Northern New Jersey, promptly dazzled by ground laser pointers, crashes into Asbury Park boardwalk, killing twelve

Pam Bondi has to live with being runner up to a child rapist

Joe Scarbreek

@ElieNYC Russian spy: we have picture evidence you did drugs with underage girls at orgies and paid them Matt Gaetz : lmao send them to my instagram they’ll do numbers

An attorney general who asks for *your* FBI file on his first day in office is fundamentally more dangerous than the one who asks for his own. :)

For the next 4 years i dont care its trump economy Mortgage rates up? Trump economy Eggs? Trump economy Dps moira going 52-2 with 1204 healing? Trump economy Cat shit in your bed? Trump economy

Taylor Swift dropping a tiktok saying “we’re all sad but JD Vance definitely fucked a couch” would fix me

The reason the couchfucker thing had legs is it made the fascists play defense for a split second Every other issue is framed by republicans and echoed in 90% of media and democrats are left to go “but thats not true 😔” The only lesson here is Fuck truth build narratives

Half of America has to watch this in social studies

RFK jr is gonna bang Ivanka trump before Donald does and get fired same day

a lot of republicans about to be real shocked when their kids can't get health insurance because of their type 1 diabetes

GOP : they killed a squirrel Voters : women are dying of sepsis in parking lots under your policies GOP : squirrel 🥺

Scenario : Kamala Harris wins Kamala : I am announcing a pardon to turn the pa- Electorate :

Musk : Its fine your honor we were just scamming these hick rubes who we viscerally despise lmao Judge : lmao gottem

Vote trump in memory of the squirrel that was used to sell onlyfans vids of his owner jacking it or you’re basically a communist