Betty J Smithsonian

Pinned for life

Trump getting indicted for paying off a porn star is like Hitler getting indicted for plagiarism. Did someone already say this? Am I Hitler in this analogy?

Awful Wrestling bettysmithsonian.com/catch-me-next-…

Studio 700 Comedy bettysmithsonian.com/catch-me-next-…

There is someone you know who is 🦇 💩crazy, extremely emphatically crazy pants and not everyone knows. Just wait. They went crazy on you. They will crazy again. Crazy can't hold in crazy for long.

@jpegjoshua Maybe not? Actually 100 percent not what you said at all. Literally. Hundreds on claims and you spot to 2 people. So like edit ur tweet or delete it

@myqkaplan Need context Myq. Airlines? Alkalines? Alison!!!??

is there an app that tells you what auto-correct changed things from? i typed a note to myself that contains the word "alines" which i didn't intend to type because i don't know what that is. what could i have meant by "alines"? does any human or robot know? asking for a me!

Me and two lesbos mansplained gay sex to two straight dudes that were acting homoerotic. - me telling my wife about my set last night.

We r way too obsessed with presidents. Everyone be cool.

@Naim__Ali He's a child. Someone's baby. Ugh. What's up w this level of violence out here, 💔

This the bul that killed the cop in North Philly (Miles Pfeffer). I’m not gon lie I feel like an Asshole because I assumed he was black. I gotta start shutting tf up sometimes 😕

@garysharpcomedy The weight loss is nice.

You don't lock the public bathroom door. I open the door. I'm not saying sorry. B*tch you gotta say sorry to me!! I didn't have to see all that. Also wash your hands.

Nick Sirianni’s best quality is he isn’t afraid to be himself From his introductory press conference, to the flower analogy, to the celebrations on the sideline, Sirianni is always just himself and shows his emotions. It’s why he is in the Super Bowl

@Eagles On stage in front of a few hundred at Punch Line with TJ Miller we we're getting hype

How many times are you chanting E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES today?

@jamieamalea Almost .... what?

Almost

@BlakeWexler LFG

I don’t know why but this just got me really f****** pumped up 💪💪💪

@BarstoolPhilly 4

On a scale 0-10, what is your level of confidence that the Eagles beat the Chiefs? #FlyEaglesFly | #SuperBowl

@Naim__Ali Fact: they are mostly men

I need some facts about whores for this podcast. Hit me with some!!!

@Naim__Ali Jew know I wouldn't lie about pork, Naim

@Handstandstore The pork chop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Betty you wild af 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dallas has the most beautiful womens I ever seen

The host introduced me a Philly comic. Then he mispronounced my name. Then there was an eagles fan in the audience. 🦅❤️

About to do a stand up set in Dallas. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. I will not mention the eagles. #gobirds