Marty Mclies

On the train home spectating this couple be in love and shit… need a refill do they got those on this train?!

Coming up on the one year anniversary of my public urination incident, should I tell my mom now?

Gonna go with there is no such thing as bad publicity so I don’t get hangxious

I’m terrible at lying but I’m terrific at make believe

Surely tonight’s not the first night I piss my bed… on a work night… no way… #fuck #fuckmytightass #pyrokingsofleon

I love to vacation

I keep my little weekend duffle bag packed and next to my bedroom door with my travel lunchbox because that’s how fucking serious I am about these little weekend trips I pull

I mean the second the sun touches my skin in weather like this… scratching my face to get sloppy drunk, a little dirt on the shirt, smoke Marlboro reds and listen raspy music

Biggest takeaways: - stop going to sleep with the Kachis on - stop talking about the Ex everytime u drink

I want to publicly apologize for starting the “I ran” war… not too sure wtf I ran means but I’m gonna end it tonight, I’m bringing the troops home

Marty please don’t forget you have to wake up early tomorrow and have a long day. Don’t ruin it for yourself tonight

ANSWER ME YOU COWARD

Last time I went to DC it was for an elementary school field trip. Think I’m gonna have a little bit of a different experience this time now that I can legally get sloppy all over the streets. Gonna tear this place to the fucking ground

Do it and do it unapologetically. Whatever it is in life, do it and do it hard you can accomplish anything. For me it’s drinking on weeknights

Maybe it’ll be drugs, maybe it’ll be slurs, probably won’t be a women but that’s still an option

Going to the glory land on Friday holy fucking shit #hotchicks #bluehens

Anyone else jerking off before the bar tn

Already feeling the stadium pulse for my tee time 13 hours away… first round of the year

When is somebody gonna declare war on me?

Fuck it I might just win the Iran war today. Marty McFly sends the boys home for Easter by extracting the poison via suckage out of the veins of Iran #solosquad #victoryroyale