Macaulay Culprit

after a while nachos start to feel like jenga yk what i mean

ok time to watch brokeback mountain for the first time

50 lbs of farm fresh orbeez

being gentle

sours are beers for kids

mood: sending maniacal valentines to everyone i love today

3 bucks 2 bags 1 me!!!!

@paiguschrist who do i need to fight

I (a soft, sweet little angel) got punched in the face at Flyover Fest today IF YOU EVEN CARE

guy in my building saw me dressed like this n just started laughing and said "you really are just chillin aren't you"

@mothsore and don't even get me started about a ":~)"... u KNOW it's a good day

I love sending a “:)” in professional emails. Sometimes I get saucy and throw in a “:-)” the hyphen adds so much personality

@sizzlemacwizzle its 5 o clock for wil thustini!🍸💫@bustinthuston

seantinis are silly not stirred @sizzlemacwizzle

everyone that comes to my house gets martinified no exceptions >:-)

shaving my head into my plants fostering a symbiotic relationship

gazpacho and kimade it's gonna be a good day bible on dad

diva lunch >>> girl dinner

st. louis is my barbie land 💘

i know you can spell it "mangoes" but why would you

buying a bedroom doorbell as inner child work

bugs would be so much cuter if they kissed you instead of biting you

don't mind me telling every gorgeous girl at the wedding she's giving kate hudson in how to lose a guy in 10 days 💘