Heather Dettman

I don't understand Tiny Libraries. The books are usually terrible and when I am passing by them, it is rare that I have a book to swap. Do people actually enjoy/use them? What am I missing?

@JoshRKlein @MikeWingerii I was a part of a very unhealthy church org myself. I couldn’t help but pick up on all the times I heard “semantics” and “context” when they were caught in a corner. It is infuriating confronting someone and they will deny the truth no matter how dumb it makes them look.

For anyone that have watched @MikeWingerii's Gary Morgan video and watched the meeting interaction, I think those of us who have dealt with narcissistic spiritual abusers might recognize some things that a person who hasn't dealt with these types might not recognize. They might see Gary as a bad guy but Allen and Peter as guys with genuinely good hearts that are trying to do the right thing. But the whole thing is rotten to the core. This might be a bit long but - I want to break down some of the tactics happening in the video: 1. Spiritual and secret knowledge weaponized as an alibi: What do I mean by that? Some might look at the Zoom call and wonder how they can see all of the evidence and say something like, "We're just interpreting the claims differently." The point is not to convince Mike. They likely knew this was going to go public eventually, so what they are doing here is signaling their spiritual and emotional superiority. Notice that Peter does this often especially after Mike gets worked up. They remain even-keeled and dismissive and their tactic is this: Make sure Mike looks out of control in certain aspects and we look like we're under control and contrite. This is why they will say, "I could see how an objective person would see it the way you see it Mike." That's belitting Mike but it's also meant to belittle YOU the viewer. You just don't KNOW enough about Gary, the situation, and how God works. Sure, you might be objective but you're not enlightened to the true truth. Why would they admit that? Because the goal is to signal that there is a truth beyond the facts - it is spiritual gaslighting. Notice how Peter and Allen do not have answers for the questions. Peter shrugs when proven he lied multiple times, Allen obfuscates and transfers questions into an investigation of Mike (what would make YOU realize this is false? Also, here are some unverifiable stories of Gary's prophetic gift that prove he's telling the truth because I was there. Trust me.) This tactic isn't to resolve the situation with Mike or the accusers, they've already written them off. It's to rally the unwavering believers to their own cause by showing that Mike and others are just not open to the Spirit's leading here. In fact, THEY are the deceptive ones (classic DARVO) because of the fake Facebook account and other issues. I had this same thing happen in ministry when I brought up abuse in a family in the church. "Well, no one actually KNOWS our family so unless you talk to a member of our family you don't know the whole story. Also, he's bad because X,Y, Z." 2. False transparency: Multiple times you will find that Gary, Peter, and Allen will signal to their own transparency. "We're the ones that asked for a recording." "We really wanted to turn over our electronics." "Of course we would pay for a third party investigation." "I have screenshots of my e-mail being compromised and I wanted to get to the bottom of it." "I WANTED to meet with Nathaniel and Hayley and look, Nathaniel seems to by lying about his own convictions he even apologized! What about that? This is intended to make the observer start to question their own lying eyes. Maybe there IS more to the story but Gary, Peter and Allen just can't say. They're too upstanding of individuals and Nathaniel DID apologize and claims he did so because he felt forced? That sounds like something someone with an axe to grind would do doesn't it? Innuendo and impugning the character of the accuser. But they don't actually provide any of that transparency (notice Peter was annoyed that a previous meeting he was in WAS recorded). They have an answer for why all of those things didn't happen. "we really wanted them to but... but... but... mostly it's Nathaniel's fault. But we're sorry he felt attacked." Again, I have experienced this. I, too, was forced into a situation where I apologized before a church for doing something small in relation to the large abuse going on. I was the one that stood in front of the congregation and had to voice my apologies to keep my job and then that apology was used against me one year later. Sound familiar? 3. It's YOUR prerogative MIKE: Peter breaks this out multiple times. It's the same as saying, "You are just too emotional to listen to reason and the Spirit. I can't force you too." Again, a way of undermining the case without having to refute any evidence and with the ability to move the goal posts when evidence is presented because Mike (the one seeking justice) is unhinged (without saying that outright. Basically it's saying, "if you would step out of your echo chamber and listen you would see it our way." And again, it's not intended to convince Mike. It's intended to convince the observer. There's more than just this, but these are three HUGE tactics used very brazenly in this zoom call. It introduces fallacies, baits emotions, and invites emotional accusation and derailing into ancillary accusations which makes the conversation move all over the place instead of stay centralized on what's most important. Chris falls for this a few times in the call but I don't blame him. With people like this it's like trying to nail jello against the wall. And that's their goal. Hope this helps.

@DrAaronNew @TheAlanNoble The irony is when I suffered from OCD, I knew my thinking was unhealthy. Also, what freed me was getting off of gluten which was inflamming my body/brain. I can tell when I have been exposed to gluten because the OCD comes back. The sin of gluten.

There *is* something insidious about Statler’s model. And I’ll say so, too, because OCD sufferers shouldn’t be the only ones who do. This from @TheAlanNoble is very good: open.substack.com/pub/oalannoble…

If you're a Christian struggling w/ OCD, you've heard most of this before. My loyalty is to Christ alone. I love Scripture. Believe it is authoritative. And I want you to know: You can seek healing & wholeness in a way that honors Christ and Scripture besides what you read here.

I started following Alex when I was interested in how the Amish built her Barndominium. I have been horrified as she show us what is happening to the farm land around her. This is greed and not for the benefit of the country. 🥲

My husband just worked some kind of magic. He managed to motivate our kids to get ready for bed early on a summer night so that they could read LOTR for an extended amount of time.

@TheEXECUTlONER_ I will always try to learn my kids and love them in a way that communicates it to them. If they don't care about something, I probably won't go out of my way to do it. But I never will NEVER punish them for something because I didn't like the way they acknowledge me as an adult.

This mother said all she got for Mother’s Day was Happy Mother’s Day texts from her 18 and 20 year old kids. So she said she is going to match their energy and when it comes time she is just going to text them Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday this year and that’s it. She said she’s not complaining and loves them to death but she is ready to meet them where they are at now in their life. She said she is sick of going above and beyond for them and basically getting nothing in return. So no more whatever they want gifts, no more money, etc. Sounds a little bit to me like complaining. 🤷‍♂️ What do you think? Do you think she’s right in handling it this way? Do you think that’s a fair way to handle it? Or do you think she’s overreacting and they are just typical young adults? Do you do things for your kids expecting the same in return?

@Sean_McDowell prophecy

Can you guess the RIDDLE? Dr. Steve Miller has asked this dozens of times in churches and academic conferences and only had ONE person has gotten it right.

@Sean_McDowell divine?

@HeatherDettman What kind of revelation?

@Sean_McDowell inspiration

@musings_blonde Sardines

What do you call the game where one person hides and everyone else goes to look for them? Apparently this game has different names depending on where you grew up.

One of the greatest quotes about motherhood I’ve ever read.

@naurpillled We do an approach of "this is what is for dinner". My kids rarely skip a meal now. They may not like the meal but we are not giving options and this is the food we paid for. If we had hunted for the food or grew it, it would be the only option. So that is the approach we take.

moms how are we getting our kids to eat what we serve them?? I’ve tried the nice guy “don’t make a big deal about it” approach but my daughter is becoming pickier & pickier and I’m trying to nip it in the bud before it’s too late

@MikeWingerii 😂

How will we ever recover?

@kyledettman I knew he would win you over.

This is awesome

Yes!

@DanielleGansky I am witnessing this with a friend what was put on them as a teenager. She is now trying to come off of them in her 40's once she realized how harmful they were. It is brutal watching her suffer and I know it is worse for her.

ANTIDEPRESSANT WITHDRAWAL INJURY is a serious neurological brain injury that happens even when you stop an SSRI following “standard” doctor tapering advice. After long-term use, the brain & nervous system adapt and change but the rushed 2-4 week one-size-fits-all tapers doctors still use are dangerously fast and actively causing brain injuries on a massive scale. Right now, thousands of people are being harmed simply by doing exactly what their doctors tell them and end up with long-term neurological damage and years of disability. The system gaslights victims, denies the harm, and hides the truth. This rivals the opioid crisis. If you've been affected, you're not alone. Share your story. #antidepressantwithdrawal #pssd

I feel bad for the leaf guard sales man that came to our door. It's hard to sell that product to someone that doesn't have trees near their house. But A for effort.

Bayer’s products are so unpopular they have to HIDE pesticide immunity in a farm bill. Sections 10205, 10206, 10207 should be DEAD ON ARRIVAL. Americans do not want chemical companies protected from accountability while cancer rates EXPLODE.

@iky_fwjett Love means caring about what the other person cares about. If he wants to shame you for such a simple ask, he will do it with bigger ones as well. Better to be single your whole life than trapped in a relationship where you are told what you want is dumb.