Good_Simon

@Alex_Oloyede2 nerdy Viking mullet and a pro bowler’s mustache

‼️🇪🇪🇷🇺 The world superpower, Estonia has given Russia an ultimatum: "The Russian Army must immediately withdraw its troops from all energy facilities, and transfer full control to Ukraine or else"

@Dr_DewSweep A smell worse than fish could cause a widespread panic resulting in being grateful to be dead

I am convinced that like 80% of the Grateful Dead, Phish, Widespread Panic fans these days don’t actually even like the music. They just like the merch and the niche subculture that comes with it all.

@otokyo__ Whale Team 6 … tons

What is the name of this group?

@oldad1775 Agreed. But his son is talented. Check out the Wallflowers first album. Im a music snob but that one is worth a full listen/add.

I'm sick of pretending Bob Dylan was ever talented.

@lady_valor_07 Diet Coke refill gun

Wtf is this thing that Trump’s secret service guy is holding?

@CNviolations yes but that’s not the point of this - he dropped it in a Sasquatch footprint filled with water

That's why I always carry a bag of clear water

@dom_lucre going to find a sperm whale named Moby Dick — she hoping he’s got a few thousand friends to wanna join in

🔥🚨JUST IN: Prolific OF star Lilly Phillips is showing of the new yacht she purchased from sleeping with thousands of men in the past 2 years.

@ViralVideos gotta be a watermelon 🍉

In all my years of being alive, I have never seen something like this before… have you?

@gotrice2024 I’m a licensed hairstylist for the last 27yrs. The hairdresser here is in the right. Whether it’s 40vol + bleach or a color stripping product, removing the red completely will fry her hair. Color correcting processes start at $200/hr

This woman was getting her hair done at her local salon when she overheard the stylists talking to a client. Weeks ago the stylists begged the client not to change her hair color because it would take allot of work to revert back if she ever wanted to do so and it would destroy her hair. The client said it wasn’t a problem and that she wouldn’t change her mind because she loved the color so much. She changed her light blonde hair to a reddish brown. Now today she decides she’s tired of the color and wants to go back to the blonde. The hair stylists refuses citing what she told her previously, was the hair stylist just being unreasonable or should the client heeded her warning?

@historigins would’ve been entertaining for karaoke night at the dive bar but other than that 🤮

She auditioned like she was already famous

@ClownWorld If you go to another planet, how do you know if the first alien you meet isn’t the most r3tarded of them all

@MiddleEast_Eng everything in India is a literal clusterphuck

During the sacred bathing rituals of the Kumbh Mela religious festival in India, several women were sexually assaulted in the water. Panic ensued among the crowds, and the situation quickly spiraled out of control. 😳

@LionelMedia Ace and Gary?

Do you know who these two are? And they're special relationship. Go ahead. Venture a guess.

@PoliticalStacy she does the Belgian truffle shuffle all day tho

The Health Minister of Belgium.

@Kittenwaffin The future is fukt. Let’s just go ahead and rename it to Dumbmerica.

"What animal is chicken?"

@Geniustechw Circle jerks in a circle jerk

What is this activity called?

@TaraBull Junkie Brewster

What's her rap name?

@BrianRoemmele no. just. no. plz stop. no more T. Swift wannabes plz. her guitar playing/timing is also sloppy💩. shes tryin to get instafamous on no talent FYI the best Jimmy eat world album is Clarity. not surprised the tasteless Gen Z likes music from the shyte album that came after it

The middle sung by the amazing prestynsmithmusic.

@cartisburner__ should’ve changed that loaded diaper first tho

Lil Yachty tried to recreate his iconic walkout at Wrestlemania yesterday 😭

@gotrice2024 act like an immigrant; beat the 💩 outta him and steal the car

This man called for an Uber to take him to the airport while traveling in Egypt. The price was 250 Egyptian pounds whose is about $4.83 cents. The driver stops in the middle of the highway and now is demanding instead of the amount that was agreed on, that he wanted $250 USD instead of Egyptian pounds. The driver is still refusing to drive, the problem is if the man gets out, the driver will more than likely take off and steal his luggage as well. Paying him more isn’t an option either because at this point he’s almost holding you hostage because he knows you don’t have many options, what would you do in this scenario?