Hmwhatnow

Woman walked into a bar. Said to the barman "I'd like a double entendre", so he gave her one.

@TeenyBella Classic Teeny!

.@Keir_Starmer Absolute embarrassment today. I've had a professional career in politics, including working alongside you, & decades of party membership. Trying to out-Reform Reform is just stupid. Upgrade your political staff & try doing some social justice. Or be a one term PM.

There's a lot of misinformation swirling around on social media in the light of today's Supreme Court ruling, so it's very important to remember the protections that still stand. Sending solidarity and love to my trans friends. X

@TeenyBella That was only 4 things ...

@TheRealMcGack Ah, mate. Sorry for your loss. Even when you know it is coming, it's always a massive kick in the teeth. Be kind to yourself in the coming weeks.

My dad, my best pal, my hero, passed away early this morning, just 5 days shy of his 82nd birthday. Although we had known that it was coming soon, it still came as a massive shock. I’m devastated, heartbroken, and in a state of disbelief just now. Rest in peace, Dad.

@TeenyBella What 5 rules? Where can I find them?

@mrkhndy Justin resigned because his party was going to get hammered at the next election, then Trump threatened to invade Canada and his party bounced back but he'd already announced he was resigning. This was probably when you were having penis-related hallucinations.

Hang on. Someone called Mark is the Canadian prime minister. So is Justin the king of Canada what the heck is going on

@Gemajesticbo Oxford Circus is easiest by far.

@TeenyBella 😂😂😂

@mrkhndy You wouldn't, perhaps, start by strangling them?

Imagine being in a lift with David Mitchell and Richard Ayoade, and it broke down and they started being funny like they do. I can’t think of anything worse I would probably have to strangle myself.

@TeenyBella @mrkhndy Sick, with a lisp?

Remember; not every mother wants flowers

@PrincessMissDee આપનો આભાર

@PrincessMissDee Oh. I might be Asian. Putting a bowl in a bowl has never made sense to me.

@PrincessMissDee @AndieDelicacy Alright, Teeny. Calm down.

Halara jeans arrived. The bootcut ones are nice, not comically wide. The wide legged ones are not for me, but would suit taller people.

@PrincessMissDee I assumed it had just been a very long school year for you.

@PrincessMissDee 25 June?

@NUFC You've ballsed this right up. Why not just have an open topped bus that everyone can get to see? Then, if you want to also do a ticketed sela event, you could. Much more inclusive. @Sela

TO THE TOWN MOOR 🎉 We’re asking fans to register their interest for this huge event in the windows below ⤵️ Friday 21 March, 1pm: season ticket holders Friday 21 March, 3pm: Mags+, Mags and Junior Mags members Sat 22 March, 10am: all supporters #wedontdoquiet

@TeenyBella Paaaahhhhhhaaaaahahahaha

@Yeloop VM is bound to have met him for a photo at some variety club lunch or other.

@mrkhndy Get grok to do it for you.

Can I pay someone to write good posts for me on Bluesky I can’t be bothered but there’s like ten people I like on there and I don’t want them forgetting about me.