Holmes Quotes

"Don't look now...you can see that girl's underwear." -Mom

"I don't read...books." -Mom

"Tastes so good, it'll make you wish your neck was a yard long." -Pop

Do you know what time it is? "I always know what time it is...it's RIGHT NOW. What else matters?" -Dad

"I'm a man's man and a duck's worst enemy." -Dad

"I could be starving to death and still gain weight." -Dad

"I've figured out Facebook is for women." -Dad

"Have you heard? Some people don't wear underwear anymore." -Nana

"You can't turn chicken sh.t into chicken salad." -Nana

"Don't fist bump. That's what Russian Communists do." -Nana

"My Kmart sandals are bling bling." -Mom

"Everyday is the 4th of July to me." -Pastor Jeff

"Out West, where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer." -Pop

"You don't hear about the Eskimos anymore..." -Nana

"This body of Christ needs some salt." -Mom

"I wish people would stop sending me Christmas cards." -Nana

"You can't eat filet mignon every day...sometimes you gotta eat Vienna Sausages." -Dad

"Drinking bad coffee every once in a while makes drinking good coffee so much better." -Dad

"They're idiots. That's all I got to say." -Nana

On the Bible: "On one page, I'm sure I'm going to Heaven. On the next page, it seems like I can't escape Hell." -Dad