It’s 𝘿𝙖𝙣𝙖, actually

If any of my mutuals are still here and I haven’t found you on other platforms, please find me there. My feeds are sooo dull without you! 🧵🦋

@Feisty_Ginger_6 That happened to me once years ago. Itchy red rash and puffy face on and off for maybe a week or so. I never did figure out what caused it.

This is the second time this month my entire face has broken out in an itchy, red rash. I assume an allergic reaction but have no clue what is causing it.

I had to write a check today. And like that wasn’t bad enough, I tried to date it 2012.

@IrishSpacePrgm Well it usually is the elderly. When they can’t hear it I think they assume no one will notice.

@HourLongSauce When I was an EMT I would fart in hospital elevators and blame the elderly that were riding. Chose your next inhalation wisely

I don’t smoke weed I just get in the elevator at work

@SephInPhilly I love oatmeal chocolate chip!

Ugh I really wish someone would ask me to accept actual cookies.

@HourLongSauce I will send you cookies

Good morning to everyone except the people with eyelashes on their headlights.

I am starting to resent my hair for the good days because now it’s shown me what it’s capable of but will rarely do for me.

My daughter in law just sent me a video of me dancing on a table asking if we could recreate it and who am I to deny the people what they want.

@DanaMichel2026 Oh hi Dana, nice to meet you!

@HourLongSauce Hi Dana, I'm just Dana, how are you!?

I accidentally pushed the door close button on the elevator on someone riding a mobility scooter so I guess I’m going to hell for sure now.

Our fitness center at work is nice because it’s a place for me to work out for free and also a good place for the building security guys to poop while they’re here I guess.

@IrishSpacePrgm Thank you. I honestly panic every time I reach for those buttons.

@HourLongSauce Absolved

Spotify DJ: I know you probably don’t love Valentine’s Day but here’s a great Valentine’s Day song for you. Wtf Xavier?! And yes, he actually said that.

OMG BLANK AND BLANK GOT ENGAGED ON THEIR TRIP TO BLANK!

Someone I know got engaged and I’m dying to tell someone but it’s not my news to share but you guys don’t know him so I’m telling you all now sos I don’t explode trying to keep this secret.

I walked by someone in the store who smelled like salami. Now, I love salami but I do not think a person should smell that way.

@SephInPhilly They are!

Pardon me if I linger too long in a hug. It’s just because you smell nice.