♕Lord Elpus OBE MBE JCB OMG

@ozmanodious Not much point going through it again is there ! You seem to be stuck on your first misreading of the tweet and are unable to admit you misread it. You have a nice day.

Sex education isn’t just about sex and having babies said someone, was it a panellist or a caller ! Well it’s certainly not about having babies because nobody can decide who can have babies or which of the 74 genders they fall into ! Mad #JeremyVine utterly mad.

@ozmanodious Try reading what I said before dashing off a reply to try and make yourself look bright ! I said nobody can decide ‘which of the 74 genders’ I did not say I believed there were 74 genders ! But thanks for your input I’m sure you feel better for it.

@ozmanodious Who needs sex education ! Me or Mr Vine ?

@GoldBlooded79 House formally owned by the United States Of America military 🤔

You pull up the carpet in your new house and you see this underneath. What's your reaction?

How very dare you call me normal ! And if I am normal which of the hundreds of thousands of normals am I ? Life is so much more difficult now, it was so much easier back in the day.

@realstewpeters @FoxyEmma50 Perhaps he wore overshoes to avoid getting his boots dirty !

Well that sure is strange.

@FoxyEmma50 I very much doubt it.

My god I never realised just how annoying Debbie McGee is ! Only slightly less annoying than Gary Lineker it would appear. Now that’s magic. #TheBridge

Very nearly £500 million 😳 No wonder Le President is smiling, they must be laughing all the way to the bank let alone smiling ☺️ We have no money, we can’t pay train drivers, nurses, doctors, teachers and yet we can afford HS2 and yet more money + technology for the French 🤫😖

@DavidBoink Ah got it old chap, damnable auto spell strikes yet again ! It should, of course, have read ‘prepared’ though prepayment isn’t a bad idea ! No think I’ll stick with a straight swap on further consideration. 🤭

@HouseofErmine I knew that much, i just wondered how much you'd have to pay upfront for a place in Turk & Caicos Islands

After all the fuss about how mean and horrid my farming ancestors may have been ! I am prepaid to swap places with a resident of the Turk & Caicos Islands as some reparation for anything that may or may not have occurred 300 years ago. Its only fair. #JeremyVine #Lineker

This HS2 ! We could cut the costs dramatically if we just issued every rail user the bit of kit below ! #JeremyVine As a bonus we would all be a lot fitter and the buffet car could be replaced with fast food outlets at the side of the track ! What !

@DavidBoink Nothing ! I’m offering my humble home in a straight swap ! They can have mine and I’ll take theirs ! They can have all the not inconsiderable bills associated with it !

@DavidBoink Oh bless, I’m not really a Lord you know !

@HouseofErmine oh yeah, how much did it set you back?

@silentkil_er McDonalds !

What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?

I think Christo is a bit of a muppet ! He proudly announces that he is more than capable of negotiating his own salary ! Of course he is, because he is self employed and or his agent negotiates for him. Silly man. #JeremyVine

@Woldslinx But not quite as tacky as Sello 🤭

Even Katie Price called her daughter Princess. It’s meaningless (& so very tacky) as a name. 🙄

Is space travel a waste of money ! Well that’s a difficult one and no mistake #JeremyVine I think the more important question here is will the inhabitants of other planets welcome the inevitable flood of migrants that will follow any successful colonisation of their planet ! 🛸👽

Four years after the death of my wife because a UK oncologist didn’t test her before treatment with #5FU this despite testing his private patients, we continue to lose our loved ones ! Only 44,000 tests in the UK but 70 million people ! Adverts say 1 in 2 people will get a cancer