𝕋𝕨𝕠 𝕊𝕙𝕖𝕕𝕤 𝕁𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕤𝕠𝕟

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to retweet it.

What every Israel supporter who wanted war with Iran is thinking as Trump spasms with strategic incoherence.

Even Baghdad Bob wouldn’t know who to believe, Tehran Tom or Palm Beach Pat.

“We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.”

Hegseth might as well be under the bus because he can’t get it started past the in-car breathalyzer.

Magadagadoo

Hey, has that hospital ship arrived in Greenland yet?

In case you don’t know how this works, the all caps means OMG DON’T SELL STOCK!

“Pay us, motherfuckers.”

“I voted for this.” - Magamorons

If it happens in the middle of the night where you are, do you want to be woken up for it?

@UVaHoopsRiffs We’re all St. Johns fans now.

Hugely proud of Virginia basketball. What a year. Future of this program is bright. Onward!

The thing about #MarchMadness is you’re having a great season with high hopes, and then, like that …

Shout out to Ugonna, Dallin, Malik, Devin, and Jacari for coming to town and helping us re-discover a little pre-pandemic glory. Godspeed, boys. Hoos for life. 🫡#WahooWa #UVA

Make sure your phone is fully charged when you get on a 3-hour TSA line so you can at least pass the time by following the world’s descent into nuclear armageddon.

We never backed ourselves into wildly threatening to nuke a country when Joe Biden was president.

Live your life in a way such that if you publish a post celebrating someone’s death the whole world doesn’t say, “bookmarked.”

When Trump catches the hot rails to hell we’re going to party like we’re all Melania.

@LePapillonBlu2 @BrittanyinTexas So ready.

We are witnessing the most anticipated obituary in world history.

I'm guessing that, true to form, the guy Homan is dispatching to run the ICE airport crews is Colonel Stewart.

Man-o-man, when we read the news...