Glen O'Humeral

Patient: doc, I need something to help me stay awake Doctor: take two of these and call me in the morning Patient: but these...aren't these your kids? Doctor: trust me, I'm a doctor.

@modernHealthMe x.com/humeralo/statu…

What's the triad??

@Do93095Mc I assure you that every D1 NCAA basketball player is more concerned about the residency match than the tournament

@HumeralO No, it’s not. I get it is for you. But for the majority of sports lovers (healthcare providers or not) it’s actually the NCAA tournament.

The real march madness is medical students finding out where they matched on Monday and then being forced to wait 4 days, for no apparent reason, to figure out where they’re going to spend the next several years of their lives

@OrehCursor That’s how I understand it

@HumeralO is it so it lines up with SOAP? but then again SOAP people end up knowing earlier as a result.

@Thazhigilla_ Jeff

If fast heart rate is Tachycardia, and slow heart rate is Bradycardia, what is a normal heart rate called?

@OttersParlance Congratulations! That’s awesome!

I matched to Emergency Medicine during SOAP!

Hypotension, JVD, and muffled heart sounds showing up to the ED to wreak havoc

@OttersParlance I’m so sorry you didn’t match. Please keep your head up and fighting for your dreams.

@HumeralO I’ll celebrate when I SOAP into a spot. Cause not everybody Matches in the main match. No step failures, no class failures, honored most clerkships, leadership like crazy BUT they get scared if you disclose that you’re deaf.

Happy #MatchDay2026 This is a truly special day in the life of every medical student. Enjoy it. Savor it. Celebrate with those who helped you get to this point.

Hospital administration giving a tour of the ED

You telling me a germ came up with this theory?

@fuqekgs Congratulations!

Matched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💖💖💖🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉 I AM GOING TO BE READING TONS OF EKGS STARTING JULY 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Thank goodness for the autonomic nervous system because we all know I’d forget to tell my heart to beat and die if it were up to me to remember.

@TrackYourHeart The heart’s just doing a little jig.

Impressive echo 👏 What’s happening to this heart?

@SubtleSignal @PatrickFarsey Yeah I don’t think so

The ortho attending watching the off service resident attempt an ulnar gutter splint for the first time

If your friends aren’t: • hot as a hare • red as a beet • dry as a bone • blind as a bat • mad as a hatter • full as a flask It’s time to find new friends

@OttersParlance @MSharifpourMD @AlanPlotzker @rkh_md @jack_turban @RickIsmach I’m no longer in academic medicine either. Sorry! Best of luck to you though

@HumeralO @MSharifpourMD @AlanPlotzker @rkh_md @jack_turban @rkh_md @RickIsmach

Hopefully this isn’t needed but are there a few people in the #Medicine community who students who don’t match can contact? I applied #EM I’m hoping for the best but preparing for #soap just in case. @blondemedSJW @embasic @EM_RESUS @TheRealDoctorT @ChaseTMAnderson

If your friends aren’t talking about: • nephrotic and nephritic syndromes • lysosomal storage diseases • anything related to the electron transport chain • freeform jazz It’s time to find new friends

@shmoopythescie1 The clinical question would be: “why they no have heart? Find it, please?”

@HumeralO I was told they only dealt with problems with present hearts

It’s always important to calculate a heart score on your patients. 1. Do they have a heart? 1 point for yes 0 points for no A score of >0 —> admit to cardiology