Hussein Abdullahi

Setting personal boundaries is important in preserving emotional, mental and physical energy. Without boundaries we can be left feeling drained, tired or taken advantage of.

Parents are guardians, not entertainers. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: *“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.”* (Bukhari & Sahih Muslim) A parent will answer before Allah about the character, discipline, and values they planted in their children. Discipline Is not child abuse. Modern society often confuses discipline with cruelty. Islam does not teach oppression, humiliation, or uncontrolled anger. But Islam absolutely teaches correction, boundaries, accountability, and respect. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned: *“No father has given a child a gift better than good manners.”* (Jami‘ at-Tirmidhi) Discipline means teaching a child:- - That actions have consequences. - That respect for elders is obligatory. - That apologizing is strength, not weakness. - That self-control matters. - That the world does not revolve around them. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was merciful with children, yet he also corrected mistakes with wisdom and firmness. Allah says: *“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy…”* (Qur'an,17:24) Mercy in Islam does not mean allowing children to become disrespectful, arrogant, or destructive. True mercy is preparing them to survive life with good character and faith. *Conclusion* A child is not raised by love alone. A child is raised by love guided with wisdom, discipline, boundaries, and Islamic values. Correction is not hatred. Discipline is not abuse. Saying “no” is not cruelty. True parenting is preparing children for both dunya and akhirah. Because if parents refuse to shape their children with mercy and guidance, society will shape them with hardship and consequences. And by then, the damage may already be done By Ibrahim Hassan

*Crisis of Morden parenting among our society today* In today’s world, many parents proudly defend every behavior of their children, even when the child is clearly wrong. A child insults elders and it is called “confidence.” A teenager rejects advice and it is labeled “independence.” A young adult becomes arrogant, disrespectful, and irresponsible, yet society is blamed for their failure. But Islam teaches us a painful truth: bad character does not appear overnight. It is cultivated slowly through neglected discipline, unchecked behavior, and the absence of proper tarbiyah (upbringing). A rude adult is rarely an accident. More often, they are the result of years of ignored correction. Bad adults are not an accident. They are a project. A project that started at age 5 when a child talked back to an adult and the parent laughed and said, "Huyu mtoto ni tough kama mimi" A project that continued at age 10 when the child threw a tantrum in public and nobody said a word. ( Some shouting kuma ya mamako to the maid- mum just laughs). A project that matured at age 15 when the teenager disrespected a teacher and the parent showed up at school to defend the child and later support the child in cheating in exam. A project that graduated at age 25 when a fully grown adult cannot keep a job because they cannot take correction from anyone. Nobody wakes up at 30 and suddenly becomes rude, entitled, dishonest, and impossible to deal with. That software was installed early. By parents who were allergic to the word "no." "Mtoto wangu asiumizwe." "Usimshoutie." "Let the child express themselves." Express themselves into what, exactly? A menace? Because that is what happened. You let your child talk back to elders and called it confidence. You let them break rules and called it creativity. You let them disrespect boundaries and called it independence. Now they are 28. They cannot hold a relationship because they have never been told they are wrong. They cannot keep a job because they argue with every supervisor. They cannot take feedback without crying victim. And you are wondering what happened. You caused it happened. You skipped the most important part of parenting. Discipline. Not beating. Discipline. Teaching a child that actions have consequences. That "no" is a complete sentence. That apologizing is not weakness. That respecting people is not optional. These are lessons that must be taught early. Because the world will not teach them gently. Schools do not raise children. The internet does not raise children. TikTok does not raise children. Maalim Dugs does not raise children. Parents do. And if you refuse to correct your child, society will do it for you. Asiyefunzwa na wazazi hufunzwa na ulimwengu. Society has no patience. No mercy. No second chances. Prisons are full of people who were never told "sit down" at age 7. Broken homes are full of adults who were never taught emotional regulation at age 12. Unemployment lines are full of people who were never told "do it again properly" at age 15. You had the chance to shape them. You chose comfort over correction. And now the world is dealing with the result. Raise children with manners. With respect. With accountability. With the understanding that the world owes them nothing and character determines everything. Otherwise, you are not raising a child. You are manufacturing a future problem. And society will send you the bill. Islam does not encourage harshness or oppression toward children. But neither does it support careless parenting disguised as “love.” Parenting in Islam Is a Trust From Allah Allah says in the Qur’an: *“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”* (Qur'an, 66:6) This verse reminds parents that raising children is not merely feeding and clothing them (kuzaa si kazi, kazi ni kumlea mwana).It is preparing them morally, spiritually, and emotionally for this world and the Hereafter.

Indeed, this Qur'an guides to that which is most suitable and gives good tidings to the believers who do righteous deeds that they will have a great reward. Al-Isra', Ayah 9

“And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.” [Sūrah ʿAnkabūt 64]

The Prophet ﷺ said: “If a woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Jannah from any gate you wish.”[Ahmad] If your knowledge makes you arrogant toward your husband, then it is not beneficial knowledge. Beneficial knowledge increases you in humility, in gratitude, in mercy. It softens you. It doesn’t harden you against the people who carried you to it. Your ijaazah isn’t your ticket to Jannah. His pleasure — after Allah’s — is. So thank him. Teach him if he asks, and do it with mercy. Make Duaa for him. But never let the blessing of knowledge become the burden that weighs your marriage down. Because sometimes, the man who can’t pronounce Al-Fatiha perfectly… is the reason Allah let you fall in love with it at all. “They are garments for you and you are garments for them.” [2:187] Don’t forget where you started. And don’t forget who held the door open when you did.

It doesn't matter what others think. You should only care if Allah is pleased or upset with you.

A poet has pertinently described the evil of letting loose and not controlling ones gaze, and it aptly applies to watching TV and movies: كل الحوادث مبداها من النظر … ومعظم النار من مستصغر الشرر والمرء ما دام ذا عين يقلبها … في أعين العين موقوف على الخطر كم نظرة فعلت في قلب فاعلها … فعل السهام بلا قوس ولا وتر يسر ناظره ما ضر خاطره … لا مرحباً بسرور عاد بالضرر Translation: All evil occurrences begin with ones glance, And most fires are caught by (negligence of) those who deem sparks insignificant. A man remains in danger as long as his eyes scrutinize the eyes of (beautiful) women with large (gorgeous) eyes, How many a glance has done to the heart the same as what an arrow would do — without any bow or string. The one glancing is pleased with what harms his inner self. No thanks to pleasure that brings harm.

Some words of wisdom: لكي تساعد أحدا ليس بالضرورة أن تكون قويا أو غنيا يكفي أنك تكون طيبا "Helping someone doesn't require a lot of wealth or power. Sometimes, having a kind heart is more than enough" (Small acts of kindness can make a huge difference in another person's life by helping them feel that they are not alone in their struggles)

Wise people have said: "Preserve your dignity in four situations: • when you discuss with one who is more knowledgeable than you, • when teaching one who is older than you, • when disputing with someone more powerful than you, • and when debating with a fool."

▪️ When a man becomes accustomed to mingling with women, his dignity diminishes. ▪️ And when a woman becomes accustomed to mingling with men, her modesty fades away. ~ Usaama ibrahim

Around 7–8 days of Shawwal are still left. You still have time to fast the six days of Shawwal, don’t let this reward slip away. The reward is huge. As mentioned by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): “Whoever fasts Ramadan and then follows it with six days of Shawwal, it is as if he had fasted the entire year.” Sahih Muslim 1164 So, don't miss this huge reward. Even if you start tomorrow, you can still complete them. May Allah make it easy for everyone and accept it.

Shaykh Uthaymeen رحمه الله — Why infertility and birth defects have become widespread? Women take medication to stop menstruation and to prevent pregnancy

Those who face death often realize for the first time how much they love life. Think about this feeling and try to appreciate what you have now and enjoy it, for it is priceless.

When you view abuse as a behavior that represents the person who said it, and not as a belittling of you, a large part of your reaction will be different.

Forgiveness is sweeter than revenge, work is more enjoyable than idleness, contentment is greater than money, and health is better than wealth.

Your true friend is the one who understands you without words, believes you without evidence, advises you without ulterior motives, loves you without reasons, and knows you without self-interest.

"If you seek peace with the Americans through struggle, you will survive; if you seek peace with them through compromise, you will perish." — Mao Zedong

If apologizing is difficult for you, remember that being offended is also difficult for others.

The blind man wishes to see the world, the deaf man wishes to hear sounds, and the mute man wishes to say words... and you see, speak, and hear. Doesn't that deserve to make you happy?